Welcome to the Middleton Home Talent site!

Please allow me to introduce myself (to those I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting); my name is Nerd. I am a member of the Middleton Home Talent squad, serving primarily as Chief Scorekeeper, a position I take most seriously. I will be appearing in this space quite often in the months to come, especially with Summer approaching fast.

This column will delve into a variety of matters, but the focus will, of course, be the goings-on of Middleton Home Talent. Everything written on this page will be from my perspective; from current affairs, pop culture, and the weather to my reasoning behind why SoAndSo got an error or UmpWhatsHisName needs his head examined. Although seeing the world through my eyes will often be odd, sometimes scary, I am hoping it will never be dull. And since I will be writing mostly about Baseball and Middleton Home Talent (which hereafter will be shortened to MHT because it takes too damn long to type) I am sure I will not have a problem with keeping your attention. After this column I have an article planned summing up our Annual Bowling Tournament and there will be sporadic notes regarding Spring Training. My regular schedule will begin with our season and you can expect an article a week, come Hell or high water. There is no particular format I will be following, and Pedro assured me I have no maximum/minimum limit on word count, so things may tend to seem out of sorts, rambling, maybe even incoherent, but trust me there is always a method to Nerdness. And you can also trust me that after a few of these columns no one is going to be wondering, Why do they call that guy Nerd?

Not only do I plan on discussing the events of our season and the peculiar but hilarious things that happen during practice and on the bench during games, but I also have a few weekly segments. This here Trivia Section is one. I will pose a question to all of you each week, during the season it will be strictly Baseball-oriented. The following week I will post the answer to the previous week’s question. If you have absolutely no patience and you must know the answer (Attn: Mandy), seek me out and ask or you can email me with your answer and I will reply (my email address is posted at the bottom of the page).

What is the symbolism of Rock, Paper, and Scissors? (meaning: what do they stand for - I know what beats what) And what is the origin of Roshambo, the term also used to refer to it?

By the way, this question is dedicated to Pedro and Stacy since this may be the only way to decide whether or not he plays this year.

“Boys, baseball is a game where you gotta have fun. You do that by winning.” – Dave Bristol

I had the absolute greatest time of my life last Summer and want to thank you all for it. Nothing could have been more fun than spending a Summer around Baseball and you guys, and our Fans, and winning a Championship. On the rare occasion when I enter a local watering hole it gives me goose bumps when someone says, “Congrats on the Championship” or “Hey Champ!” It is a feeling we should all take great pride in. We truly had a Storybook Season. From start to finish, it was right out of a Hollywood screenplay.

A group of young men start a magical season of Baseball. Key players still haven’t joined, new guys looking for a position, old guys searching for their role. Guided by an ex-player, rookie coach. The season progresses slowly, more losses than wins, but huge potential looming on the horizon. After awhile the team takes shape. Players find their positions, their roles. Weddings and parties, and a touch of inner turmoil, bring them closer, as teammates become friends. A rallying point is found after the most significant loss of the season, the death of a True Fan. A dedicated season becomes more real, a promise more meaningful. The wins start to come more easily. The team becomes a Team. The arrival of the comical character and faithful fan, Scooby, helps make the game fun, gives them a totem to guide them. The playoffs arrive. The crowd in the stands always devoted grows with each game; their cheers intensify. Each win more exciting than the last. A Team winning, despite their errors, driven by a workhorse that refuses to lose. The final game, the Championship trophy within their grasp and another obstacle steps in their way. The true test of Team given when principal players, ones whose play paved the way cannot take the field. But others step in, waiting for their chance, and deliver on the grandest stage. A Team standing alone as Champions.

I don’t know about anybody else but I’d pay eight bucks to see that movie, every day for the rest of my life. We are the only ones in all of Home Talent that can’t be called Loser. Although, the winter can be sad without Baseball, it sure is nice to be a Winner while waiting for the first crack of the bat.

"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." - Rogers Hornsby

“Since baseball time is measured only in outs, all you have to do is succeed utterly; keep hitting, keep the rally alive, and you have defeated time. You remain forever young.” - Roger Angell

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to keep playing baseball." - Pete Rose

Back to another section which shall be recurring on a semi-regular basis. I wanted to do this weekly but realized that some people may not have as much free time as I do and may need longer than a week to finish a book. Obviously, no one is required to read anything I suggest in this space, I just enjoy recommending books that I feel others will like. Plus, expanding your vocabulary through the wonderful world of literature will help you all when you are conducting interviews or speaking before the parole board.

“This is a very good baseball book. Okrent's starting point is a game between the Baltimore Orioles and Milwaukee Brewers on June 10, 1982. From there, in meaningful digressions, he reveals the recent skirmishes of the game, the egos of the players, the signing of the talent, the history of the club, the machinations of the local business leaders in getting the club. We get the scouts and what they look for (speed, first, because it can't be taught, and body type: thick legs are bad, stiff wrists on a pitcher are bad), the wallowing in the minors (only 8.9 percent of players signed actually make the bigs). We get the road trips, the roommates, the shuffling of positions. Okrent gives us the relationship between reporters and players ("Singleton, said one Baltimore writer in the Milwaukee press box, 'couldn't tag up from third on a fly to Green Bay'"), the trades made (the Ted Simmons deal) and missed (Mike Caldwell for Ryne Sandberg), and the fact that umpires warm up along with relief pitchers, calling the balls and strikes in their head. Put it this way: the book begins with the groundskeepers and ends with the clean-up crew, and most of what comes in-between is insightful, and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny:

One year, (Alex) Johnson had hit 7 homeruns by midseason, compared to 3 the year before. A Philadelphia writer asked him, "Alex, what's the difference between your homers last year and your homers this year?” Johnson glared at the reporter and said, "Four, you motherf***er, four!"

This is a really good book. It has some great stories in it that will surely appeal to the Brewer fans out there, but it also has a lot of other stuff about the state of the game. With the way the Majors are now, with high salaries, looming strikes, and Selig as commissioner, it is interesting to look back and see that a lot of the problems began back then. I hope that those of you who choose to read this enjoy it. Happy reading!

Well, that is all I have for this time. Hope to see you all at the Bowling Tournament.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Hello again, Dugout Dwellers!! (Yes, I have given y’all a nickname) Thanks for stopping back into the Dugout. I also want to thank all of the players and fans that made the MHT Bowling Tournament such a success. I trust all had a good time. I know I had a great time. Nothing like the tourney to get the blood pumping and ready for Spring and Baseball. It seems everywhere I turn there is a new reminder that the season is quickly approaching. Whether it’s that damnable snow finally melting away, the high schoolers taking BP down at the school, or a favorite Baseball-inspired movie on the television. As for the last one, I had the pleasure of watching Field of Dreams last night on the tube. I absolutely love that movie. In a perfect world, everyone would have a diamond in his or her backyard, regulation or wiffleball. Watching that movie really got me excited to get back out there and smell the leather and grass, and feel the sun beating down on my face. There is nothing better than Darth Vader talking Baseball to inspire you. Does anyone else’s living room get really dusty watching that movie?

While our season draws near, another sport is coming to a close. I want to pass on my congratulations to the Middleton High School Girls Basketball squad for an outstanding season. I don’t know any of the individual players, but I followed their State run in the paper, and applaud their success. It’s great to see a Team come together and strive for their goals. March Madness is here as well, and I would be remiss if I didn’t chime in on that with my two cents. The Badgers have a tough row to hoe, but I’m anxious to see them face my Wildcats (the ones from the desert) in the Final Four. And for those who believe in jinxes, Go IUPUI! I wish all Dwellers prosperity with your office pools and Internet brackets. It is nice to have the craziness of the NCAA tournament segue to the serenity of Baseball.

Well, I hope everybody else is as anxious as I am to get the glove and cleats out of the closet and get going again. Some of us have been lucky enough to be playing already, and I want to wish all of our college players good luck this Spring. We will be cheering for you, and awaiting your return. And everybody else I will see you on March 27 (just a week away).

Many of you gave me your thoughts on the origin of the game - Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Some of you even made a point in telling me that there is no known origin. But through extensive research Nerd has all the answers.

The earliest known version of the game dates back as far as 200 BC Japan. But Nerd, you say, they didn’t have scissors in BC Japan. Correct, you are. The early versions used different names associated with the symbols. For example, ancient Indonesia used an elephant, man, and an ant. The elephant can crush the person, the person can crush the ant, but how can the ant win against the elephant? It crawls in the elephant's ear and drives it crazy. Other variations exist for different cultures and different times. As for the symbolism associated with our current Rock, Paper, and Scissors, here you go:

Thanks to Tim Cleary for supplying some of this information. He had the most detailed email answer and therefore holds the Nerd Golden Cup of Triviality.

Now, for the significance of Roshambo. In Europe, mid-1700s, the game, for some reason, came to be associated with one Jean Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, Comte de Rochambeau. Jean Baptiste was none other than the French general who was sent to command an army in support of George Washington during the American Revolution. Why this game came to be associated with the "Count of Rochambeau" is a mystery, but it certainly calls into question the means by which Washington secured Cornwallis's surrender in Yorktown. In any case, it does explain the name often used for the game, namely "Rochambeau," or, more commonly, "Roshambo."

So there you go, the detailed yet researched answer to The Dugout’s first trivia question.

"Why certainly I'd like to have that fellow who hits a home run every time at bat, who strikes out every opposing batter when he's pitching, who throws strikes to any base or the plate when he's playing outfield and who's always thinking about two innings ahead just what he'll do to baffle the other team. Any manager would want a guy like that playing for him. The only trouble is to get him to put down his cup of beer and come down out of the stands and do those things.” - Danny Murtaugh, manager (dedicated to Pertz)

"There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time. I owe him my best.” – Joe DiMaggio

"I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for $3,000. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up." – Bob Uecker

“The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.” – Terrence Mann (James Earl Jones) Field of Dreams

The first installment of the Nerd Book Club was somewhat of a success. Many of you expressed an interest in Nine Innings, and that brought a smile to my face. I take great pleasure in recommending books to people that I think they will enjoy, especially when they go out and read them. By the way, if any of you Dugout Dwellers have read any books that you think I, or for that matter anyone, would like, send me an email and let me know. Who knows it may end up in the Club.

“If The Big Chill had Gen X angst, you would probably have something like Plan B. It is the story of five friends from college who are turning 30 and struggling with what it means to be an adult. Ben, the narrator, is a frustrated writer and recent divorcee; Lindsey, unemployed and afraid of commitment; Chuck, a doctor and unapologetic womanizer; and Alison, a lawyer and unrequitedly in love with Jack, a major movie star and cocaine addict. Afraid that Jack has hit bottom with his drug habit, Ben and his friends decide to help. Plan A is an intervention, and when that fails, they go to Plan B--kidnap Jack and hole up in a cabin in the woods until he goes through withdrawal. Everything goes as planned until Jack escapes. However, Jack's addiction is just a vehicle for Tropper in this debut novel to explore the group's personal demons, failings, and relationships. Moreover, he does it with wit, insight, and a lot of fun cultural references to the '80s.”

Although not a baseball book, I promise you will thoroughly enjoy this. It tells the tale of what it is like to turn 30 and realize what you had planned for your life, when you were 15, isn’t necessarily what happened with it. I know some of you may have passed this mark already, or it is far on the horizon, but the story in itself is entertaining. The music of the 80s, Star Wars, Seinfeld, all find themselves in the book, not just to make you laugh and remember but because those things truly shape how we view life. Trust me, you won’t be able to put this down. The world-famous literary critic, Sam-a-lama, actually read this in one night.

Thanks to all for sharing this time with me. I promise once this column appears on a weekly basis I will not be as long-winded. First practice is Thursday, March 27. The weekly article will begin on Tuesday, April 1. How fitting of a day is that?

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

“Hello again, everybody. It's a bee-yooo-tiful day for baseball.” Not many people could get you excited for a Baseball game like Harry Caray, so I thought I would honor him by opening with his trademark line. I apologize to all you Dugout Dwellers who were waiting with bated breath for this article. I was suffering from a prolonged period of mourning due to my beloved Wildcats stumbling in the Tourney. But no need to worry, I will now be appearing on a weekly basis. I am sure that before long you will be wishing for another delay.

Well, MHT has completed its exhibition season and one thing is clear: I sure missed Baseball. We played four games and managed to split, 2-2. There were moments of greatness and times that looked like a couple more hours of practice would have been nice, but all in all, we did well. It is pretty tough when you have players on the field who haven’t played in years, or at all. We will be much better off when we got the whole team available. Even the Big Nerd was on the hill for four innings. I don’t think I have lasted that long on the mound since high school, back when our Spice Girls were in elementary school. But the pre-season games are behind us, and Opening Day is this Sunday down at Sorenson/Bakken Field. It will be the first of four straight home games to open the season, and our run to defend the title. I trust I will see a monstrous crowd on the hill.

And now, a little tidbit from the back of my brain: The other day I was reading about the Maloof brothers, they own the Sacramento Kings and the Palms Resort in Las Vegas. I was daydreaming about how nice it would be to have that much cash. So, if I had a million dollars, I would…Open a Baseball Themed Amusement Park, with a twist. I would build Wiffle Ball regulation-sized replicas of all existing and famous ballparks. Each stadium would look exactly like it does or did in its time, complete with pennants and retired jerseys. Each dugout would be a mini-museum, with memorabilia and videos documenting the park and its team. Interspersed among the ballparks would be batting cages and mounds set up with radar guns. It would be a completely interactive experience. Every night teams would be selected from the visitors based on age and skill level. The teams would battle it out, Wiffle Ball-style, in short, hour-long games held at the various ballparks. Now wouldn’t that be fun? But if I had a million dollars…I’d be rich, and I am most definitely not.

Several people responded to last article’s question, with Ryan Suchomel sending in his answer before I even knew the article was on the website. Some were correct, some were wrong, and some were correct but not what I was originally looking for. This confusion was my fault. Yes, Nerd made a mistake. I should have phrased my question better. However, my vagueness led to more answers, and my Hank Aaron trivia knowledge has grown.

The original question asked - what unusual event accounts for Aaron and Babe Ruth being tied for third place on the all-time list in runs scored. What I should have said was what event in his last game accounts for the tie.

On October 3, 1976, in the final at bat of his career, Aaron singled in the bottom of the sixth inning off Dave Roberts of the Tigers. Manager Alex Grammas then lifted Aaron, so he could be greeted by thunderous applause at Milwaukee County Stadium. Pinch runner Jim Gantner scored what would have been Aaron’s 2175^th run, which would have broken the tie.

On May 26, 1959, Harvey Haddix of the Pittsburgh Pirates pitched 12 perfect innings (yes, 12) against the Braves. In the 13^th, after a hit and a sacrifice, Aaron was walked intentionally. Joe Adcock followed by hitting the ball out of the park. Aaron, in jubilation, ran off the field to celebrate the win, and Adcock passed him. Aaron and Adcock were each called out, as Felix Mantilla scored the winning run.

So there you go, two correct answers, both equally unusual, that account for Aaron being tied with Ruth. Therefore, Nerd’s Golden Cup of Triviality is split three ways between Suchomel, Sam, and Bags. Please use separate straws, guys.

Who am I? I was Prefect of Discipline, as well as head baseball coach at a small New England college in the late 1800s. This school made an appearance in the 2003 NCAA Basketball Tournament. I am often credited with the origination of the Seventh Inning Stretch.

Extra credit will be given to those who give information that discredit this man’s claim to the Stretch.

"A ballplayer spends a good piece of his life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time." – Jim Bouton, New York Yankees

"Nothing flatters me more than to have it assumed that I could write prose-unless it be to have it assumed that I once pitched a baseball with distinction." - Robert Frost

"The highlight of my career? In '67 with St. Louis, I walked with the bases loaded to drive in the winning run in an intersquad game in spring training." – Bob Uecker

"I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter; that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit." -Tim McCarver (St. Louis Cardinals catcher)

From here on out, Nerd Book Club will be a monthly feature. Even I can’t read some of these books in a week. By limiting the Club to one selection at the beginning of each month, I hope that some of you can take pleasure in the books I will be recommending.

"Once there was a tree ... and she loved a little boy." So begins a story of unforgettable perception, beautifully written and illustrated by the gifted and versatile Shel Silverstein.

Every day the boy would come to the tree to eat her apples, swing from her branches, or slide down her trunk ... and the tree was happy. But as the boy grew older he began to want more from the tree, and the tree gave and gave and gave.

This is a tender story, touched with sadness, aglow with consolation. Shel Silverstein has created a moving parable for readers of all ages that offers an affecting interpretation of the gift of giving and a serene acceptance of another's capacity to love in return.

I chose this for a couple of reasons. First of all, a lot of my friends have been having children lately and Shel Silverstein is one of my favorite authors. This book is very short, as most children’s books are, but the lessons learned within will last a long time. I absolutely love this book, and believe it should be on every child’s bookshelf and on every adult’s nightstand.

Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Thanks to all for sharing this time with me. It is time for me to go – I have to sharpen my pencils so I will be ready on Sunday.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Hey there, Denizens of the Dugout! The first game of the season is behind us and a big fat W is in the books. MHT kicked off the year against Cazenovia, and did so with a bang, eight runs in the first inning. Wouldn’t that be lovely every week? Everybody did his part extremely well. Lots of base runners (12 hits, 7 walks), and only two errors in the field (one debatable, and one preventable, if Nerd had longer arms). It was nice to see the Coach step up to the plate and continue his hot hitting with a bases clearing double in the first, thus justifying his placement as DH. Plus, it is always entertaining to see him leg one out. Ralph did an excellent job on the mound, using the cushion we gave him to go out there and get outs and the win. The crowd was nice for the weather. It’s great to get support when it’s chilly. Awesome job, guys!

The second game of the season was rained out. That could have been predicted, I suppose, it being Mother’s Day. Mother Nature had to make an appearance. I hope all of you had wonderful days with your families. I want to send my love West, and wish my mother a Very Happy Mother’s Day.

“The word “mother” is already a synonym for some of the hardest, most demanding work ever shouldered by any human…It is one she cannot easily give up for several decades. It can be slavery, joy in work, a magnificent career. It can be failure or triumph, but it can never be insignificant or unimportant since it is one “job” affecting the outcome of another’s life.” Liz Smith

We have a big week in store for us -- An exhibition game, Night League opener, make-up of the rain out, and our regular Sunday game, against Waunakee. Four games, all at home. College guys should be around, so it should be exciting. Let’s get this party started!!

Once again, several of you emailed me your answers to last week’s question. However, not all of you read the entire question. I asked who holds claim to the 7^th Inning Stretch, but also was the Prefect of Discipline at a university in the late 1800s. I also asked for any information to discredit that claim.

Brother Jasper. He was the Prefect of Discipline at Manhattan College, and supervised the student fans during baseball games while also directing the team itself. During one game in 1882, Brother Jasper noticed the Manhattan students were becoming restless and edgy as Manhattan came to bat in the seventh inning of a close game. To relieve the tension, Brother Jasper called time-out and told the students to stand up and stretch for a few minutes until the game resumed. Since the College annually played the New York Giants, their practice of the "seventh inning stretch" spread into the major leagues.

However, there is evidence to dispute this as being the first instance of a 7^th Inning Stretch. Baseball historians have found a manuscript, dated 1869, describing the Stretch. Harry Wright of the Cincinnati Red Stockings wrote a letter with the following account – "The spectators all arise between halves of the seventh inning, extend their legs and arms and sometimes walk about. In so doing they enjoy the relief afforded by relaxation from a long posture upon hard benches." So maybe Brother Jasper was a fan of the Red Stockings, attended one of these games, and borrowed the idea.

There is also another man who some claim started the Stretch. President William Howard Taft, weighing in at well over 300 pounds, tossed out the first pitch in a game on April 14, 1910. Legend has it that later during that game he rose to adjust himself, since seats during that time were better suited for a man of much smaller size. The fans, thinking the President was leaving, all rose. When he sat back down, so did they, thus starting the tradition of the Stretch. However, this story is more fairy tale than truth, especially given the evidence above.

As for Nerd’s Golden Cup of Triviality, the honor goes to my father this week, for the most complete answer. Congratulations, Pops, I knew you had it in you.

President Taft did set a precedent on that day back in 1910. He became the first President to throw out the ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day. Every president since has continued the tradition at least once during his tenure except one. Finding the answer to that would be far too easy, so that is not the question. The question is: why did Jimmy Carter never throw out a first pitch on Opening Day?

"Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time." - Lou Brock

"For five years in the minor leagues, I wore the same underwear and still hit .250, so no, I don't believe in that stuff." - Dusty Baker, on superstitions

"I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase." - Bob Uecker

"I remember one game I got five hits and stole five bases, but none of it was written down because they forgot to bring the scorebook to the game that day." - James "Cool Papa" Bell (further evidence why I play such a pivotal role)

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Lots of games this week, folks. Plenty of chances to see y’all at the ballpark. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Well, all good things must end. And that includes Scooby Streaks. Our big week of Baseball, with an exhibition game, Night League opener, and two Day League contests, started off with a rainout and ended with the first loss in awhile, with two great wins in between.

Our exhibition game against Oregon was washed out, which benefited us considering that although we have a lot of good arms, it’s best to save them for games that count. And that was no more evident than on Thursday when we walloped Cambria, 9-1, in the Night League opener. Four of our guys went out there and pitched awesome. Bolstered by Housework’s “welcome back, I’ll have two jacks” hitting display, the game was never in doubt. A little side-note to this game, Nerd got his first MHT hit that counted. Woo-hoo!!

The following night the great pitching and hitting continued, with another nine run tally against Mazomanie. Up and down the line-up we had guys with multiple hits, with TC leading the way with a 4 for 5 barrage. The defense played strong behind B-Town’s return to the team, and Kruller closed out the 6-hit shutout. It is a very nice problem to have when Crutch Pertzborn can substitute mass players at a time and not miss a beat.

Sunday’s game with Waunakee, however, was another story. Riding a winning streak as long as we have has a lot of advantages, but it carries some weighty disadvantages as well. When you have that target of Champion on your back everyone is geared up to play you, which means no game should be taken lightly. I am, by no means, saying there was a lack of effort, or even fire, but for some games you need to have that little extra, and we needed it on Sunday and couldn’t find it. We lost a close one, 5-1, and had plenty of chances. The pitching was strong, the defense was good, but we couldn’t get the runs across. No worries, we’ll get ‘em. We just need to find that edge we had at the end of last year, where the clutch hits come, the fielding is crisp, our pitchers don’t walk runners (and if they do, they get stranded). It is early yet, and when a streak ends, it is simply time to start another one. And we have an excellent chance to do so this Memorial Day weekend. No better time to have a weekend with two games, when we can get the kinks straightened out and start riding that wave again.

Alas, my efforts to find an answer to a question that has been baffling me for months were unsuccessful. I am disappointed to announce that I have no idea why President Jimmy Carter never threw out a ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day while he was in office. He has thrown out pitches at World Series games, games in Cuba, and even is an avid softball player, but no Opening Day appearances. I have searched high and low for the answer and have come up empty-handed. Why Nerd, you ask, did I tease you with a question that I have no answer for? Well, I was hoping some great mind out there would have the answer, but no one seems to know. I have written emails to Major League Baseball, ESPN, Pat and Ron at WGN, and even the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library, who actually sent a very lengthy, and friendly response, but concluded by saying they have no idea either. Don’t fret, Dwellers, I will not rest this Summer until I have the answer, even if I have to search the man out myself. Stay tuned.

This week, in atonement for last, I will present you with three questions (all of which have answers). The answers can all be found in the Major League Rulebook, but I urge you to try to figure out the answers by yourself (especially Utes).

"Winning means outlasting everyone else." – Mason Cooley (to remind us all that the season is not a sprint, but a marathon)

"Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is." - Bob Feller

"Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of Old-Timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times." - Bob Uecker

“Nobody ever said, "Work ball!" They say, "Play ball!" To me, that means having fun.” –Willie Stargell

I have a mini-selection to the Book Club this week. It is not a novel you will find in bookstores, but a collection of works posted on a website. The prose found on this page displays a depth of talent that I think you will all enjoy. And considering the author is a former MHT’er, I felt Club selection was warranted. The author of whom I speak is Jordan Bodendein and his website is www.bodendein.com. Great stuff, Jordan, and I hope you don’t mind the plug.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Memorial Day weekend is coming up which means two big games for MHT. Time to get another streak going. Come out and have some fun, because fun and Baseball go hand in hand. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

After a weeklong hiatus, Dwellers, Nerd is back. Did ya miss me? After the exhilaration of watching the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee last week, I presented myself with the challenge of using the words given in the competition throughout this article. Because of the absence of occasions where betony or hypozeuxis can be used, I have chosen to incorporate words that won the Championship this year and in years past. Due to the meticulosity (1950) of this task, this article took a little longer than expected, and still pales to what I initially intended to do. I hope that it is intelligible (1935), and none of you need therapy (1940) after reading it. No worries, Dwellers, I will never be pococurante (2003) when it comes to the Dugout.

Memorial Day weekend saw MHT play two solid and important games, winning against Arena and at Ashton. We seem to be developing a knack (1932) for small-ball – bunting, stealing, hit-and runs. Although we have been burned a couple of times on the base paths, it is far better to play aggressive than to sit back and wait for the big blast. Kamikaze-style (1993), so to speak. Our pitching was superb, and the fielding steadfast. It felt eudaemonic (1959) to get a couple in the win column.

Last Thursday, on the other hand, was definitely some atrocious baseball. We seemed to have developed a case of narcolepsy (1976) while playing Monona. We surely looked as if we were asleep out there. No hitting, no fielding, missed signs. We seemed to be deteriorating (1934) before my very eyes. Coach Crutch was headed for a sanitarium (1938), but great teams are measured not by their successes but by their response to their failures, and we responded very well.

I am, of course, speaking of our Sunday game against Black Earth. Sometimes a different milieu (1985) helps. After getting some early runs and then struggling for a couple of innings, the Team exploded in the last three innings, belting 9 hits and scoring 7 runs. Final score: 12-2. Final result: we bounced back from a pitiful game and jumped all over a team that we need to beat, at their ballpark. Nerd couldn’t have been happier. I don’t want to sound elegiacal (1988), but this game was really big. Gutsy performance by B-Town in his longest outing of the year. And we had five guys make the newspaper with multiple hits. By the way, they had the initials (1941) MB, NS, TP, EV, and JG. Here’s hoping the momentum carries through to this next week.

Just a side note: Pedro has been doing an excellent job of updating our games every week on the News and Statistics pages, so if you yearn for more than I provide – go there.

And now, to conclude, I would like to say a few things about the Spelling Bee. I watched several hours of the Bee on TV and spent several more on the official website. I would like to share some things I witnessed and learned.

The only winner from WI was Madison’s Joanne Lagatta, who correctly spelled antipyretic.

Name the five players who hit better than .390 for a season and failed to win the batting crown that year.

There are eighteen pitchers who have recorded more than one no-hitter. Of those 18, four have had 3 or more no-hitters. Name these pitchers. (Hint: One threw 7, one threw 4, and two threw 3).

"I don't know what you're going to do Mr. (Dizzy) Dean, but I'm not going to give up any runs if we have to stay here all night." Satchel Paige

"A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while." Nuke LaLoosh, Bull Durham

"I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture." - Bob Uecker

Where Lou still starts
And Babe still swings
Where Johnny still sees
and Leo still screams
Where Don still throws
and Mickey still hits
Harry still sings

"I've always swung the same way. The difference is when I swing and miss, people say, 'He's swinging for the fences.' But when I swing and make contact people say, 'That's a nice swing.' But there's no difference, it's the same swing." – Sammy Sosa, (because I believe him, and don’t think it matters what bat he uses, he hits the ball far)

It is time for a new selection to the Book Club. I know many of you have been waiting for this moment with bated breath. The voracious reader Rick Schu has even stooped to sending me scathing emails demanding a new book to read. Hopefully, my past selections have elicited a similar thirst for Literature in other Dwellers. And since I have made it my duty to quench this thirst, my work continues. So, without further ado:

“These three novels brought Auster international acclaim for his creation of a new genre, mixing elements of the standard detective fiction and postmodern fiction. City of Glass combines dark, Kafka-like humor with all the suspense of a Hitchcock film as a writer of detective stories becomes embroiled in a complex and puzzling series of events, beginning with a call from a stranger in the middle of the night. Ghosts, the second volume of this interconnected trilogy, introduces Blue, a private detective hired to watch a man named Black, who, as he becomes intermeshed into a haunting and claustrophobic game of hide-and-seek, is lured into the very trap he has created. The final volume, The Locked Room, also begins with a mystery, told this time in the first-person narrative. The nameless hero journeys into the unknown as he attempts to reconstruct the past, which he has experienced almost as a dream. Together these three fictions lead the reader on adventures that expand the mind as they entertain.”

This is a very interesting book. It is comprised of three separate, but carefully connected, novellas. Although, each story is powerful and complete enough on its own, reading them together truly gives you the full experience. It is not an easy read, but a highly enjoyable one. Questions abound regarding identity, reality and illusion, the meaning of words and language, and it explores the fine line between commitment and obsession. It will definitely make you think.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Huge game this Sunday at Cross Plains. A win gives us a share of 1^st Place, so we can use all the fan support we can get. Hope to see y’all there. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

As many of my friends and teammates are well aware, Nerd has a slight tendency to be late for things. Attempting to keep a once-a-week schedule with this article has proved to be a more daunting task than I expected, especially with exhibition games and rainouts tossing a wrench into the system. Nevertheless, I have returned, and there is much to address.

First and foremost, I want to send out a gigantic “congratulations!!!” to the Middleton High School Boys Baseball team for their superb performance in winning the State Championship. Many of us on the Middleton Home Talent squad, as well as neighboring Home Talent teams, are Middleton alums, and your accomplishments make us all proud. You peaked at the perfect time, and displayed a Team effort that should be applauded, loudly. Great Job, guys! (with a special pat-on-the-back to Coach Thomas T. Melvin).

Since my last article Father’s Day has come and gone. I’d like to extend a Happy Father’s Day to all those fathers out there in Dugout Land, especially my own. Fathers and Baseball go together a lot like peanut butter and jelly. Many of us probably wouldn’t be playing the game if our fathers weren’t fans, and in some cases players themselves. I can tell you a ton of stories about the bond formed by Baseball between my Dad and I. Granted, and he would agree, not all the stories are happy ones; however, those experiences made us who we are today, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Some of the most vivid memories I have of my early childhood involve Baseball and my Dad. I remember him: in the dugout as a coach when I was in Little League, teaching me to throw a curveball (which I never really grasped), throwing me balls until his arm ached (but always throwing more because I wanted to hit a little extra), tripping on the way to first base trying to beat out a ball hit back to the pitcher ‘cuz Dad was in the stands. I also remember being told to follow through, mix it up, and just throw strikes. That last one I have heard so many times it will probably be on my gravestone. (Nerd was never a control pitcher). I went to see Nolan Ryan win his 300^th game with my Dad when they were pretty much the same age. I have some great memories involving my Dad and Baseball. He always made me feel like I was the best player on the diamond. And although I might not have always been the best, the fact that I was in his eyes is one of many reasons to love him. Thanks Dad, for being my coach and fan, but my father above all else.

“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," my dad would reply, "we're raising boys." -Harmon Killebrew

I’d also like to send a “Happy Father’s Day” to my Grandfather out in Arizona. Some of my lyrical eloquence is truly a bi-product of his genes, and I thank him. A better Granddad one would be hard-pressed to find.

We actually played some games since my last appearance. We are playing really great ball with some occasional lapses. Unfortunately, those lapses have occurred against Waunakee. Our pitching has been excellent. All expectations have been exceeded and then some. It’s been great to keep score when we trot out pitcher after pitcher and stymie the opposition. Our offense has been a little less consistent. In our 6 wins, we have averaged 9 ½ runs; our two losses – 1 run each. And that’s just Day League. Toss in the whooping at Verona’s expense last week and our run average in wins goes into double figures. We seem to score runs in bunches. As you know, hitting can be contagious, as well as a lack of hitting, and our offensive immune system is highly susceptible to both contagions. We are sitting in a great position in both the Night and Day League standings. All we need now is a good run where the bats get hot and clutch, and the pitching stays strong, and the playoffs will set up in our favor. We have Baraboo this weekend, followed by a huge 4^th of July weekend with games against Cross Plains and Black Earth. Hope to see you at the games!

One last note before we get to the fun stuff. I would like to thank all of you who have made a point to approach me at games, or beer tents and the like, and compliment me on these articles. I am mostly pecking away at this keyboard to appease my own self-imposed feelings of unimportance so it is very comforting to know that there are people out there actually reading the words. Thanks.

The five players who hit better than .390 for a season and failed to win the batting crown that year.

Eighteen pitchers have recorded more than one no-hitter. Of those 18, four have had 3 or more no-hitters. These pitchers are:

The phrase comes from the old-time grocery store where the grocer used a pole or a mechanical grabber to tip an item, such as a can of corn, off a high shelf and let it tumble into his hands or apron, which was held out in front like a fire net.

As promised, this week’s trivia will take a look at Baseball lingo. I will give you several words and phrases. All you need to do is tell me what they mean, and where they came from. Some of these are pretty obvious as to what they mean, but others are of the more archaic variety. Let’s see who knows what.

Southpaw	Eephus
Fungo	Inning
Golden Sombrero	Shortstop
“Foot in the Bucket”	Farm system
Bunt	Rookie
Near-beer Pitcher	Grand Slam

"My only day off is the day I pitch (in regards to how hard he works out during off-days)." – Roger Clemens (in honor of 300 wins)

"In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs." - Bob Uecker

"There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o'clock." - David Bristol, Milwaukee Brewers manager

"They can holler at the uniform all they want, but when they holler at the man wearing the uniform, they're in trouble." - Umpire Joe Brinkman

“Pedro, can you bring me my coat? It’s cold out here.” – Alex Shekey (told you I would mention you Sheek)

No selection for this article but I do want to tell you that the next selection is going to be a good one. I don’t normally decide on whether or not I like a book until I have finished it, but the book I am reading now is definitely one for the Club. Be prepared for a review of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, coming soon.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

See y’all next time for The Dugout, patriotic-style. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

All right, Dwellers, we have a doozy of an article this time. It is definitely one of the longest yet. Approach it like you would your favorite pie. Although your stomach might want to eat that whole pie the first night, it will undoubtedly leave you feeling bloated and uncomfortable. Plus, you will have no slice for the days and nights to come. So, don’t try to read all this at once; take your time, enjoy it and the experience will be far better. Okay, enough nonsense for now.

Lots of Baseball was played since I spoke to you last. We have won some games, and lost a couple. To try to recount all the events of the past games would most likely take even more pages than this already long article will provide. So I will mention some of the highs and lows that stuck in my brain.

Lowlight number one deals with a loss we suffered at the hands of Sun Prairie. Sometime Dweller Ryan Suchomel plays for SP, and it always leaves a bitter taste to lose to a former teammate. Pitching ace extraordinaire Hoochie-Ma provided the Nerd with some fun bookkeeping. Hooch has been throwing excellent in Night League and it has been a thrill to watch. The 4^th of July supplied some highlights and lowlights. The game during the day was not a good one. We couldn’t muster enough runs to overcome a tough first inning by Ralph Nater to surpass Black Earth. However, the Nerd was proud of the pluck displayed by Ralph to shake off the first and come back and throw strong for four more innings. The night was a blast, pun intended, watching the fireworks at Casa de Pertzborn. It’s great when the guys can get together and match wits exchanging one-liners and impersonations into the wee hours. The last two Sunday games have been beyond excellent. Superb pitching by B-Town coupled with scoring barrages. B flirted with Destiny in Reedsburg, and I don’t mean a dancer at Chubby’s, carrying a no-no into the 7^th. The team holds part of the blame, scoring eight runs in one inning means your pitcher has a long time to wait to get back out there and continue to roll. But even B will tell you, having a cushion of 8, is never a bad thing. Roger has found his stroke, joining the Ya-Ya Sisterhood three times in the past two Sunday games, with a homer thrown in at NBC as well. One of the greatest highlights of all also came in that game at Reedsburg, when all roster players made an appearance, including new pinch-hitting specialist and sausage pugilist Randall Simon. Randy, if it was a home game, Nerd guarantees you that would have been a double. The new young guys have added a spark, and more welcome headaches for Coach Crutch. And Sir Timothy is hitting the snot out of the ball. All in all, great times, great times. The Nerd is pleased.

On a personal note, Mama Nerd was in town a couple of weeks ago. I would like to thank all those who made her and her beau (not you Padfield) feel welcome, especially Randy, Darrell and Yacie. I had a wonderful time when she was here and it was great that she got to see our game, and get the opportunity to put faces to the names she hears about from me and this website. Love you, Mom.

More Baseball is ahead of us, and it is becoming crunch time. Every game is a play-off game, and the intensity is going to be fierce. I can’t wait to roll into the Sectional with the fire and unbeatable ferocity we had last year. I expect to see that hill filled with all you fans. And for the first 5 lucky fans who mention the Theory of Relativity, the beer is on Nerd.

Southpaw – A left-handed pitcher. Derived from the layout of old-time baseball parks. The fields were situated in a way that the sun was not in the batter’s eyes and expensive seat holders. This meant that the pitcher being faced west and a lefty threw with his southern limb.

Fungo – A bat used in infield / outfield practices. There are five theories regarding the origin of “fungo.” Briefly, they are: 1) a combination of “fun” and “go”; 2) the sound it made off an original bat sounded like a ball striking fungus wood; 3) the word fungible, which means something that can be substituted for something else, such as a fungo bat for a real bat; 4) the German fang-en, which means “to catch;” or 5) the Scottish verb “fung” which means “to pitch, toss or fling. I prefer the first.

As promised I will update you on my progress in the search for the answer to why President Carter never threw out a first pitch. The Jimmy Carter Presidential Library returned my email and informed me that they have no idea, but wanted to assure me that President Carter’s favorite sport is Baseball. Mlb.com has no idea. Ron Santo didn’t respond. Neither did espn.com. However, through my extensive research I have found a possible answer. President Carter continually did things during his tenure as President to buck tradition. He was the only President to walk back from his Inauguration. Also, before each season the Commissioner of Baseball presents the President with a season long pass to all games. This was usually done before a press conference. President Carter, however, refused. Instead, the pass was presented to his son without fanfare. Asked why he did this, President Carter said that tradition was meant to be changed and strayed from. I can only conclude that this attitude applied to his feelings on ceremonial first pitches. So although, he loved Baseball, he was not a fan of doing something just because tradition said he should.

“Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game.” – Jacques Barzun, philosophy professor, 1954

“If a man worked at it, he observed, he could make himself do more than he thought he could do; that was baseball, and that was America.” - Tom Wicker

"Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth century.” – Mark Twain, 1889

"Suddenly there came a scattering of fire of which the three outfielders caught the brunt; the center field was hit and was captured, the left and right field managed to get back into our lines. The attack was repelled without serious difficulty, but we had lost not only our center field, but the only baseball in Alexandria, Texas." – George Putnam, Union Army

In a month that we celebrate our freedom and all things American, and during a time when this celebration is tempered with the sadness and fear events on the other side of the globe have created, I have chosen a very special book for this month’s installment of the Book Club. Flags of Our Fathers, by James Bradley is a historical account of the life and times of the six men captured on film and immortalized in bronze as they raised a flag on Iwo Jima in World War II. To paraphrase a famous quote, some people are born famous, some people achieve fame, and others have it thrust upon them. How you deal with that fame is what separates you from the ordinary man. Randy Simon, a couple of years back, recommended this book to me, and I am grateful to him for that, because this book is informative and moving. The tales told within are amazing. And the author (the son of one of the men) writes with a personal touch that gives the story added emotional weight. I am positive that all of you will truly enjoy this book.

In this unforgettable chronicle of perhaps the most famous moment in American military history, James Bradley has captured the glory, the triumph, the heartbreak, and the legacy of the six men who raised the flag at Iwo Jima. Here is the true story behind the immortal photograph that has come to symbolize the courage and indomitable will of America.

In February 1945, American Marines plunged into the surf at Iwo Jima--and into history. Through a hail of machine-gun and mortar fire that left the beaches strewn with comrades, they battled to the island's highest peak. And after climbing through a landscape of hell itself, they raised a flag.

But perhaps the most interesting part of the story is what happened after the victory. The men in the photo--three were killed during the battle--were proclaimed heroes and flown home, to become reluctant symbols. For two of them, the adulation was shattering. Only James Bradley's father truly survived, displaying no copy of the famous photograph in his home, telling his son only: "The real heroes of Iwo Jima were the guys who didn't come back."

Few books ever have captured the complexity and furor of war and its aftermath as well as Flags of Our Fathers. A penetrating, epic look at a generation at war, this is history told with keen insight, enormous honesty, and the passion of a son paying homage to his father. It is the story of the difference between truth and myth, the meaning of being a hero, and the essence of the human experience of war.

I really hope all you Dwellers will head out to the bookstore or library and grab a copy of this book. Americans need to know about stories like this. We need to learn that what we take for granted wasn’t always so, and if we learn about what our fathers and grandfathers had to go through our appreciation for what it means to be an American will grow tremendously.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

It is the home stretch of the regular season so we can use all the fan support we can get. The Old-Timer’s game is this weekend, as well as Fan Appreciation Day, which insures a great time for all. Hope to see you there! Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

March 1, 2004

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

I’m baaaaaack! After a long off-season, the Nerd has re-surfaced. I don’t know about you, but the way last year ended left a bad taste in my mouth. Don’t get me wrong we had a great season; it’s just that after you have seen the view from the mountaintop it’s not the same from the lodge. Winning begets winning, however it also raises expectations, which can lead to bigger disappointments. Enough of that though – it is time for a new year, new faces, and new goals.

But first, there are a few things to touch on before we get started. This past off-season Nerd left you high and dry. What on Earth did you talk about? What did you read? Was it lonely without me? Never fear – I’m back and this season I promise to write on a far more frequent basis. At least, until I bore every last Dweller to tears.

(Quick side-note: why is it off-season? Is there an on-season? Wouldn’t non-season and season make better sense? Oh well, things that rattle in the brain of Nerd.)

Football season has come and gone. There is an interesting connection to be made between football and MHT. The New England Patriots, a Team void of superstars, won the Super Bowl. You all know how much I admire Teams. But what is interesting is that they also won the Super Bowl in 2002. Hmm. Another year for another Team?

The beginning of the Baseball year also means Fantasy Baseball has begun. I know many of you also enjoy watching the statistics of ho-hum players in meaningless games while cursing under your breath. It is truly a thing of beauty. Currently, Nerd’s Herd is not faring well in his league. Can’t expect to when relievers get shelled for 5 runs in an inning instead of securing the save. But I live by the philosophy of not placing importance on the first month of the season. So I must have faith. The Herd will win a second championship in a row. There it is; it is written so it must be true.

Well, the Season is fast approaching. We were supposed to kick it off with some exhibitions this weekend, but the games were postponed. Seems we are not the only ones who have trouble fielding nine when the young bucks are off learning. Next week is the Marshall tournament, however, and I trust those games are a sure thing. I’m looking forward to seeing what we have this year and putting the pieces together for another magical year. My next article will chronicle the tourney and give y’all an idea of what’s in store for MHT in 2004.

One last thing before you can get to the fun stuff. Middleton Home Talent saw the retirement of a couple mainstays this year. Todd Passini and Jamie Guerrero have each hung up their spikes to move on to bigger and better things. I, for one, am sad to see them go. Each played for over a decade and brought a passion to the game that is not often seen. Leaders on the field and in the dugout, Pedro and Roger leave some mighty big shoes to fill. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to fill Rog’s hat, though. I was thrilled to play ball with you both. I expect to see you on the Hill.

My last article, way back when, did have its customary trivia question. Although quite a few of you emailed me to learn the answers, the Dugout, as a whole, has not been properly enlightened. In my never-ending quest to raise everyone’s Baseball IQ, the questions, as presented, follow with the glorious answers:

Ÿ In his major league debut on Opening Day in Cincinnati, April 13 1954, Hank Aaron went 0-5. That day marked another important first for Baseball. What happened? This was the first game in which outfielders were required to bring their gloves into the dugout between innings, rather than follow the previous tradition of leaving them on the field.

Who was the first player to hit a home run in his first minor league at bat and in his first major league at bat? Will Clark. On June 21, 1985, batting for the Fresno Giants against the Visalia Oaks of the Class A California League, he homered. Less than a year later, he homered in his first major league at bat as a San Francisco Giant, off Nolan Ryan of the Astros on April 8, 1986.

Ÿ Who had the first error in All-Star game history? Lou Gehrig, in the fifth inning of the 1^st All-Star game in 1933.

Ÿ Which was the first major league stadium with an organ? Wrigley Field - Roy Nelson first played it on April 26, 1941.

Ÿ Who was the first outfielder to play a full 162-game season without committing an error? Rocky Colavito - 1965 - 274 chances, no errors.

Ÿ Who was the first player to bat on television? Billy Werber, the Reds third baseman who led off against the Dodgers at Ebbets Field on August 26, 1939, in the first televised big league game, which was broadcast by Red Barber.

To kick off the new Baseball year, Nerd’s trivia section follows a slightly different format. I have created a Baseball / Middleton Home Talent themed crossword puzzle. This was not the easiest undertaking. I will, no doubt, not be as pretty this Season due to all the lost beauty sleep. This puzzle is very special because the most gifted crossword puzzlers in the world will have more difficulty in solving it than you, the Middleton Home Talent player and fan. I have tried to incorporate the entire roster into the puzzle; however, some people did have to drop to the cutting room floor due to the sheer pain of trying to fit the words into the tiny, little squares. I have also attempted to cut as much of the crossword-ese as I could, so even the puzzle novice should have a chance (still a few acronyms). I hope y’all enjoy it, because it will be a cold day on the diamond before I try it again. Pedro has created a link to the puzzle so you can print it out and use your #2 Ticonderoga. You must print it off from one of the links below.

“Baseball breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops, and leaves you to face the fall alone.” – A. Bartlet Giamatti, The Green Fields of the Mind

“Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game – and do it by watching first some high school or small town teams.” - Jacques Barzun, God’s Country and Mine

"For it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out - at the old ball game.” – Jack Norworth, 1908

" Little boy, in a baseball hat
Picks up his ball, stares at his bat
Says I am the greatest the game is on the line
And he gives his all one last time

And the ball goes up like the moon so bright
Swings his bat with all his might
And the world's so still as still can be
And the baseball falls, and that's strike three

Now it's supper time and his mama calls
Little boy starts home with his bat and ball
Says I am the greatest that is a fact
But even I didn't know I could pitch like that

He says I am the greatest that is understood but even I didn't know I could pitch that good..” – Kenny Rogers, The Greatest

I was informed last year about something that warrants mentioning. Our Alex Shekey did a good thing. There is an award given out to those who show respect for students with disabilities and are determined to help them, called the Devi Bhargava Award. Sheek nominated a coach and mentor for the award. And the best man won! Congratulations to Steve Hauser, MATC Athletic Director, and head baseball coach. And congrats to Sheek for making the extra effort to see that someone gets the acknowledgement they deserve.

And now for every Dweller’s favorite section, (round of applause) my newest book selection. Last Season I recommended several books to you and am happy to say that it worked. Several people told me that they read something I suggested. Not all of you were fans of all my selections, which gives me pleasure as well. There is only room for one Nerd, so I welcome different tastes and opinions. Following the long tradition of the Club, the first book of this new Season will once again be a book about Baseball.

Most of you will be very familiar with this book as it was hyped to no end last year. Since its recent release in paperback makes it affordable for all, it is a prime candidate for inclusion to the exclusive Club. Moneyball takes a look at Baseball from the front office, not the field or the stands. It deals with wizards behind the curtain. By transforming a money-poor team in a small market to a talent-rich contender, Billy Beane made the Oakland A’s the new blueprint for success at the Major League level. Using computers instead of scouts, and signing players on skill and experience instead of potential, Beane went completely against traditional Baseball policy; and it worked. Lewis was given all-access to Beane, his underlings, and the A’s, and provides us with a fresh look into the game and all of its shadiness. This is very well written book and I really enjoyed it. (Plus, some of the insights it provides can help the Fantasy Leaguer.) But don’t take my word for it, here’s more:

“Billy Beane, general manager of MLB’s Oakland A’s and protagonist of Michael Lewis’s Moneyball, had a problem: how to win in the Major Leagues with a budget that’s smaller than that of nearly every other team. Conventional wisdom long held that big name, highly athletic hitters and young pitchers with rocket arms were the ticket to success. But Beane and his staff, buoyed by massive amounts of carefully interpreted statistical data, believed that wins could be had by more affordable methods such as hitters with high on-base percentages and pitchers who get lots of ground outs. Given this information and a tight budget, Beane defied tradition and his own scouting department to build winning teams of young affordable players and inexpensive castoff veterans.

Lewis was in the room with the A’s top management as they spent the summer of 2002 adding and subtracting players and he provides outstanding play-by-play. In the June player draft, Beane acquired nearly every prospect he coveted (few of whom were coveted by other teams) and at the July trading deadline he engaged in a tense battle of nerves to acquire a lefty reliever. Besides being one of the most insider accounts ever written about baseball, Moneyball is populated with fascinating characters. We meet Jeremy Brown, an overweight college catcher who most teams project to be a 15^th round draft pick (Beane takes him in the first). Sidearm pitcher Chad Bradford is plucked from the Chicago White Sox triple-A club to be a key set=up man and catcher Scott Hatteberg is rebuilt to be a first baseman. But the most interesting character is Beane himself. A speedy athletic can’t-miss prospect who somehow missed, Beane reinvents himself as a front-office guru, relying on players completely unlike, say, Billy Beane. Lewis, one of the top nonfiction writers of his era offers highly accessible explanations of baseball stats and his roadmap of Beane’s economic approach makes Moneyball an appealing reading experience for business people and sport’s fans alike.”

Get out and read, Dwellers, because, remember, Reading is fundamental. Next installment coming soon.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime. I promise you’ll be hearing a lot more from me in the weeks ahead.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

June 3, 2004

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Mother Nature has not been kind. The beginning of the Season has seen more rainouts than fly-outs. And that does not put a smile on Nerd’s face. The Nerd is highly opposed to physical labor so raking fields and shoveling Diamond Dry is not welcome to the routine. I have made an impassioned plea to the big MN though, and She has assured me that we will see minimal rain for the duration of the Season. Just enough to keep the farmers happy.

Between clouds and raindrops, MHT has managed to squeeze in a handful of games. After a couple of dreadful outings where it appeared we were sponsored by Chico’s Bail Bonds, instead of seasoned HT’ers, we have begun to play ball like we should. Sunday record 2-2, Night league 2-0. Not too bad. There have been many bright spots to the Season thus far. It appears we have the market cornered on pitching. Lots of arms on the Team this year. Bodes well for the weekends to come where we have to play multiple games. Not many teams in the league can match our depth on the bump. Defense has been stellar as well. Since the early Bad News Bears impersonation, we have made some tremendous plays. Combined with our pitching, the defense has been excellent in stranding opposing base runners. On Memorial Day, this was especially evident in that we kept fourteen Cross Plains runners from scoring in our marathon 12-inning victory. Great things to look forward to this Season. Nerd is optimistic. As everyone’s roles become more defined, I see this Team having the potential for something big.

Nerd was recently asked, “why are you still on the Team if you don’t play?” I thought I would take this space to answer that question. And that answer is simply, “why not?” Baseball is magical. There is no other sport that gets under my skin like Baseball. It is a chess match played between men under the beating sun. No game has the cerebral component that Baseball has. Situations abound where there are any number of different strategies that can be employed. Man on third, one out. There are so many things that can happen. The batter can swing away - go for the deep fly or the ground ball up the middle. Suicide squeeze, wild pitch, intentional walk. Is the infield in? Different for the first inning and the last. Your mind can swim in the possibilities. Baseball is a game that can be stripped to its smallest elements. A bat and ball, and two boys, in a tiny backyard. Where the roof is a homer and the tree is an out. Or it can be a game on a Sunday between two towns battling it out for pride. Every single guy playing his heart out for the win. That’s why I do it. It’s Baseball, it’s Summer, and I’m just a boy who wants to be part of the game.

The rest of this installment of the article is dedicated to Nerd’s role on MHT – Scorekeeper. Because I don’t merely keep track of who won or lost, but am the historian of the game. Because of my pencil, the game is immortalized. Another good reason to want to be part of the Team.

My first foray into the world of crossword puzzle construction was a success. Albeit, not one without its hiccups. Many of you expressed to me some level of delight in your attempt to solve the puzzle, or even pleasure in seeing your name make the cut. However, faithful Dwellers and their keen powers of observation did not let my mistakes go unnoticed. Crossword connoisseur John Manderino was most diligent in pointing out my errors. For those keeping score, Wrigley’s warbler is, of course, Harry Caray, although I had Carey in the puzzle. Taipei is not a country but a capital city. And I also failed to give a clue for an entire word. It would have been after 37 Down. I did catch this mistake myself but it was late and the need for sleep far out-weighed the desire to re-number everything. Overall, I believe my experiment went smoothly enough to possibly be a fixture in the Dugout, but strictly on an annual basis.

And now for some trivia questions that would qualify as Scorekeepers’ Nightmares. These involve incidents that would dull the pencil, scramble the brain, and push the eraser to its limit.

Ÿ What were the most double plays ever recorded in a game for both teams combined? By a single team?

Ÿ What was the longest game ever played in terms of innings? In hours and minutes?

Ÿ What was the most combined amount of runs scored in a game? By a single team? In one inning?

“You can’t tell the players without a scorecard!” - Traditional cry of scorecard vendors.

“A Baseball fan has the digestive apparatus of a billy goat. He can – and does – devour any set of diamond statistics with insatiable appetite and then nuzzle hungrily for more.” – Sportswriter Arthur Daley

“When I was a small boy in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of the summer afternoon on a river bank, we talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a major league Baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he’d like to be president of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.” - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"’You can look it up,’ he’ll say to doubters. They do and doubt no longer.” – In reference to Casey Stengel, New York Times, 1960.

"Any person claiming to be a Baseball fan who does not also claim to have invented the quickest, simplest and complete method of keeping score probably is a fraud.” – Thomas Boswell

The 77^th Annual Scripps Howard Spelling Bee was concluded today. Nerd was glued to the television with pen and paper in hand, matching wits with the nation’s brightest youngsters. Due to the popularity of my article on the Bee last year, I am certain that everyone was watching along with me. For those of you who were too busy reading selections from the Nerd Book Club, I am pleased to announce that David Tidmarsh from South Bend, Indiana was the winner. The championship-clinching word was autochthonous. Obviously meaning, “of or relating to where it is found; indigenous.”

In keeping with the theme of this edition, my new selection for the Book Club is The Joy of Keeping Score, by Paul Dickson. This book in no way would ever be classified as fine literature. However, it is loaded with history and anecdotes related to scorekeeping. When did it begin? Why is the K used for strikeout? Who fancies themselves a fan of scorekeeping? All the answers can be found in Mr. Dickson’s book. It is loaded with fun little stories and photographs of old historic scorecards. Definitely a fun, quick read for anyone who has a passion for keeping score.

“There are two reasons to head out to the ballpark. One is to passively watch the game, the other is to actively see it, and you can't do the latter without a scorecard. In this slim gem of a volume, Paul Dickson clearly explains and translates the quirky documentation system, which looks like cuneiform to the uninitiated, for recording what happens on the ball field, and why true fans are so adamant about doing it. Filled with history, anecdotes, and rules, it also reproduces--to the joy of scorers everywhere--the official scorer's records for some of baseball's most significant moments, including Don Larson's perfecto and Babe Ruth's called shot.”

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

Nerd is in a reflective mood. My last attempt I made a comment about boys playing Baseball in the backyard; and how the landscape played a role in the game. That got me thinking about my brothers and me when we were kids. We played all kinds of sports together, just us three or with the whole neighborhood. Half the fun was in the invention of rules to accommodate the playing field. We would play field hockey in the yard (this was Arizona, so no ice) but not everyone had sticks so we used croquet mallets. We would ball up soccer socks and put them inside another sock to make a wonderful, yet not too painful, weapon and played some demented form of gladiators. Nerf basketball in the house, while Mama Nerd was away, was another favorite pastime. Pulling off the perfect dunk after vaulting off the couch with two little brothers hanging off you is certainly an unmatched feeling. But what I remember most fondly were the Baseball games. Wiffle-ball, inside and outside. I definitely became quite adept at handling Super-glue as a child. I could piece back together a Ming vase without a member of the dynasty seeing the cracks. What was great about Baseball is we could play with only ourselves. One batter, one pitcher, one hitter. And we could play anywhere, rain or shine, no matter how big the area, because we just changed the rules a bit to fit our needs. Don’t have a catcher? Well, if the throw from the field crosses home before the runner, he’s out. And who doesn’t remember shouting “ghost runner on third” because it was your turn to bat. Hits into especially prickly bushes, or even cacti, were taken away and made outs because it was just too darn hard to get the ball out, so we learned to go opposite field. Of course, it was awesome when we could get to a park and play with close to full teams, and Little League was when it counted, but there was something pure about “our rules” and us. Makes Nerd smile to think about.

Well, Mother Nature has been kinder and we have played a little ball over the past couple of weeks. We lost a heartbreaker to Cross Plains. But had a huge weekend with wins over Cazenovia and Pine Bluff. We are staying right in the thick of things. Our defense has remained solid. Pitching has shined, especially with Mr. David Bradley Woodall blanking the Bluffers. The hitting is still a bit inconsistent. Aggressiveness is the key. To a man we have the talent to spin a few caps out there, we just need to jump on ‘em hard and early. With our bats and our depth, we could start burying some people. And don’t forget, speed kills.

I hope you enjoyed the questions from last time. Searching for these little trivia nuggets keeps me sane. It is amazing the amount of websites devoted to Baseball and its history. Nerd often gets lost amid the mountainous minutiae. Where do I unearth this vast knowledge to pass on to thy Faithful Dweller, you ask? I should keep my secrets, but for those interested in great reading regarding Baseball, check out the following sites: www.baseball-almanac.com and www.hardballtimes.com.

What were the most double plays ever recorded in a game for both teams combined? By a single team?

What was the longest game ever played in terms of innings? In hours and minutes?

Ÿ What was the most combined amount of runs scored in a game? By a single team? In one inning?

This edition will deal with the father-son connections in the Major Leagues, in honor of Father’s Day. I’m quite certain my father instilled in me a thirst for knowledge, as well as a love for Baseball; so father-inspired trivia seems apropos.

Ÿ Who made his Major League debut in 1903 and became the first son of a Major League father to play in the big leagues?

Ÿ Which families are the only ones to have both a father and son manage a Major League team?

Ÿ Who are the three father-son pitcher combinations that have made it to a World Series?

“One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, ‘You don't have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here’.

‘Yes’, snickered the devil, ‘but I have all the umpires.’” – Anonymous

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.” – Abbott & Costello, Who’s on First?

"Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamp post: for support, not illumination." – Vin Scully

"Quit trying to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring and besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. They're more democratic." - Crash Davis to Nuke, Bull Durham

"Ahh, Jesus, I like him very much, but He no help with curveball." - Serrano. "Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?" – Harris, Major League

Mark July 2 on your calendar. On that day, Steve Adler will be honored on the Wall of Fame at the Duck Pond. Just before the Madison Mallard’s game, a plaque will be given to the Adler family, commemorating Steve’s lifelong involvement and passion for Baseball. The presentation will take place immediately preceding the game, which starts at 7:05. As mentioned before in these pages, Steve was a dedicated player and fan of MHT, and he is missed. This is a great tribute to Steve and I hope everyone can make it out to the game. To get tickets call 246-4277; mention Steve Adler Wall of Fame Night for a special deal. Check out the Events page for more information.

Nerd has decided to reach back into the past for the new selection to the Book Club. I haven’t read this book in several years but it is one of my favorites: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig. It is certainly a book inspired by the father-son relationship. But it is a book about much more. It delves into the differences between Western and Eastern philosophies, and tackles the question of quality versus quantity. It makes you look at life in a whole new light, seeing it as a process, something to be cared for. I have decided to read it again, because the lessons learned, and the thoughts provoked, are timeless and can never be overstated. I don’t want to say too much because this is a book that should be experienced. But I will say it is about a father and son on a motorcycle trip across the country and it’s about life.

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

Hello again, Dwellers! Before I get to the madcap recap of all the recent excitement, I want to tell you who has become Nerd’s new role model: Jim Siscel. Haven’t heard of him? This guy and his wife just completed a three-year, 55,604-mile trip to see every Major and Minor League Ballpark in the country. Each and every one of the 172 parks. How great would that be? Cruising around every Summer in a big ol’ Winnebago with your honey and watching Baseball. It makes me lightheaded just thinking of it all. It’s one of those things that people talk about, but drifts from reality, but this guy actually did it. I think this guy has a permanent place at the table of “famous people I’d like to have dinner with” just so I could hear all his stories. On the other side of the coin, how about that dude in the Minors who blew out his knee celebrating a game-winning walk-off grand slam? Talk about your highs and lows all in one night, huh?

Woo doggy! Talk about some great Baseball. These past couple of weeks has got Nerd’s juices all in a bubble. The MHT’s have been playing incredibly lately. In the NBC tournament, which was spread over two weekends, we battled hard to a runner-up finish winning three games and only losing in the championship. Everybody had a chance to contribute, and everybody did. It’s great to see Coach Pertz use the full bench and get big plays from whomever he throws out there. With all those NBC games, you would think there wouldn’t be time for any others, but yes there was. Two great games against Ashton and one huge game with Waunakee and MHT finds themselves right in the thick of things. B-Town has pitched exceptionally well. He is putting us on his back again, and I love the ride. With all these games, it’s great to see him take the ball on Sundays and say, ‘bullpen, rest easy awhile.’ And speaking of pitching, E-Si takes the bump versus Ashton and shuts them down cold, and I mean no-hit cold. In his first Sunday start of the year, he tosses a gem, doing something I have never seen in a Home Talent game, a 9-inning no-no. And with the hitting coming together, getting the clutch hits when needed, it has been a joy to behold. Don’t let that State Journal fool ya either with that Top-Ten, TC’s got some company. But I won’t tell ya who’s cruisin’. The defense has been solid, beyond solid, with guys diving all over the place. Our Team would make a good advertisement for Tide. Excellent things to look forward to from here to the finish line. And Nerd is ready.

Fathers and sons was our theme from last time, and I hope you all store away the new knowledge in your Baseball Memory Bank. Just a side note before I give you the answers. My father participated in the big Old-Timer’s Game a couple of weeks back, and this son is proud of his performance. He did an excellent job displaying the proper form for catching fly balls, not once but twice, and I am glad that he practices what he preached. Dad, maybe next year we’ll work on the hitting?

Ÿ Who made his Major League debut in 1903 and became the first son of a Major League father to play in the big leagues? Jack Doscher

Ÿ Which families are the only ones to have both a father and son manage a Major League team? Sisler (George & Dave) and Mack (Connie & Earle)

Ÿ Who are the three father-son pitcher combinations that have made it to a World Series? Bagby (Jim & Jim Jr.), Borbon (Pedro & Pedro Jr.) and Stottlemyre (Mel & Todd)

Ÿ Who had the most strikeouts of any other father and son combination? Mel Stottlemyre and his sons, Todd and Mel Jr.

I struggled with choosing a topic for this article’s trivia section. When you have been perusing websites for Baseball trivia as long as Nerd has, it is difficult to find something that you haven’t used before, is far too easy, or too hard. So, I have decided to stray from Baseball trivia this time. If you Ask Jeeves the answer to these questions he probably won’t know them, but if you strain your brain you can figure them out on your own. Hope you find it entertaining.

Ÿ A boy goes and buys a fishing pole that is 6' 3” long. As he goes to get on the bus, the bus driver tells him that he can't take anything on the bus longer than 6'. The boy goes back to town, buys one more thing, and the bus driver allows him on the bus. What?

Ÿ If you are in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove and a gas lamp. You only have one match, so what do you light first?

Ÿ You are stuck in a room with some really short leprechauns. They are really loud and very annoying! Bob is 2' 5", Barry is 2' 2", Brad is 2' 5", Bryan is 2' 1" and Brittany is 2' 1". Who is the tallest?

"I use my single windup, my double windup, my triple windup, my hesitation windup, my no windup. I also use my step-n-pitch-it, my submariner, my sidearmer, and my bat dodger. Man's got to do what he's got to do."

"Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move."

"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching."

"The only change is that baseball has turned Paige from a second class citizen to a second class immortal."

Nerd would like to take this time to welcome three new members to the MHT family and congratulate their proud parents. So step on up, Alden Cleary, Avery Passini, and Ryanne Woodall, and grab a seat on the Hill. (Hopefully, they are all future Dwellers.)

For the first time in Nerd’s Book Club, we have a returning author: James Bradley. Last year, around the 4^th of July I recommended Flags of Our Fathers, by Bradley, due to its poignancy as we were, and are, in the midst of war. I live by the adage that on first dates (and no, I haven’t been on a first date in awhile, although every day with Kari is like a first date since I find something new I love about her) you shouldn’t talk about religion or politics, and I strive to carry that into the Dugout. Especially, since my view is that there are two sides in politics and each of them are wrong. However, Mr. Bradley’s books aren’t about politics, or even about war, but about men. Granted these men were in a war declared by governments, but Mr. Bradley tells us about who they were as individuals in a situation that was far from pleasant. In his newest book, Flyboys: A True Story of Courage, Bradley introduces us to the men that fought World War II from the air. Nine aviators were shot down over Chichi-Jima in the Pacific and Bradley tells us their tale. Through detailing their lives, he sheds light on the aspects of that war that weren’t in the headlines or history books in school. Bradley puts a face on war, its brave young men, and its atrocities. Like Bradley says in the end, “war is a tragedy of what might have been.”

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

The last argument starter apparently turned into Nerd’s humble version of the Sports Illustrated jinx, as Mr. Roger Clemens didn’t fare too well at the All-Star Game. But remember, the measure of a man is not how he deals with his success but how he responds to his failures. Chin up, Rocket.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

Nerd had one heckuva time with this article. It is tough to come up with words to accurately capture the emotions of a season’s end. “Damn!” “Why, why, why?” “Aaargh!!” And even uncontrollable sobbing, all came to mind, yet there needs to be more. Baseball is great because absolute highs (running onto the field after the Waunakee game) can be quickly followed by absolute lows (hearing about the Black Earth loss over the phone, from miles away), and vice versa. We are all a part of Baseball, as players, coaches, and fans, because we love the competition. We want to be able to play when it is all on the line, when excuses are not allowed, for that chance to hoist the trophy. But we also know that only one team gets that chance. We compete knowing that the odds are stacked against success. Everybody knows the old phrase that Baseball players are crazy because if they fail seven out of ten times that is considered a good year. We do it anyway because it’s downright fun. And because we do it with friends and the memories will last forever.

It is a tad late for an in-depth recap but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least touch on the games. The MHT season this year was a great one. We overcame some early inconsistency to put together a solid regular season record. We played a bunch of games over a couple of weekends and grabbed second place at NBC, while winning our Sunday games as well. We saw E-Si pick up a spot start and toss a no-no for the fun of it. We rolled through the second half behind some offensive outbursts and solid pitching from B-Town. We had two guys spinning caps to stake claim in the Top Ten of hitting, with an honest book to support them. (Let’s see those other guys do it with the pencil in Nerd’s hands.) We battled hard and got the home playoff game we deserved. And Waunakee came to town…

We owed Waunakee for last year. They beat us like a rented mule. Now it was our turn to send them home. But it looked like it wasn’t in the cards. Down 3-0, ninth inning, one out, no chance. But then the heart came out. Boo gone doubling, Sheeks 0-2 pinch-hit single, DL on a stroll – bases full. Could it happen? Rookie shows Waunakee how speed kills and a run comes in. E-Si crack, score knotted up. Failed squeeze to let the drama build…TC – game over. Pandemonium. Goosebumps.

Obviously, the next game didn’t have the same fairy tale ending. Nerd was out in Portland for his brother’s graduation (congrats again, Kevin), so he had to wait to hear how the story ended. You wouldn’t believe how nerve-racking it was. Well, the news shot out of the phone like a punch in the gut. Black Earth had the better day. For a round ball, Baseball sure takes some crazy hops. I suppose all good things must end, but what did we learn? We learned we have the talent and heart to reach the top again. We learned we can overcome obstacles, big and small. We learned that we play with a group of guys who are damn fun to be with. We learned that it sucks when the season ends.

So, I raise my glass and toast another well-played season, and begin counting the days until the next one. Check back from time to time because this off-season Nerd is not going away. Too much Baseball left in me.

It seems that brainteasers are a Dweller-favorite. I received quite a few comments on the previous round of trivia questions. Many of you couldn’t wait for the answers. I’ll keep that in mind and be sure to sprinkle more riddles into the mix of Baseball trivia. Here are the answers, and please don’t bang your head against the desk too hard.

Ÿ If you are in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove and a gas lamp. You only have one match, so what do you light first? The match.

Ÿ While on the island of Dellzup, you have been captured by the Evil Prince. He has decided to play a game with you. He offers you the choice of two doors, behind one of which lays a hungry lion and behind the other lies treasures beyond your wildest dreams. Guarding one of the doors is a native who always lies and guarding the other door is a native who always tells the truth. Unfortunately, you cannot tell which is which. You may ask one of the natives for help in choosing the door. They both know which door they are guarding, so what single question could you ask? You ask one of the natives: 'What would the other native say if I asked him behind which door lies the lion.' You then open this door for the treasure. (Nerd Note: Don’t you love the name of the island?)

In honor of my trip out West to visit my brothers, this edition of trivia will deal with brothers who have played in the Major Leagues. A couple of the questions are quite easy, but the others will surely take some thought.

Ÿ Whose brother Tom lays claim to the highest career batting average and on-base percentage in baseball history?

"The two most important things in life: good friends and a strong bullpen." Bob Gibson

"A pitcher needs two pitches, one they're looking for and one to cross them up." Warren Spahn

"I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it." Sandy Koufax

"Everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation." Roger Clemens

While in Portland, my grandmother commented that a lot of the books I have recommended are a bit strange. First off, I was thrilled that another Dweller, a relative at that, braved the world of Nerd’s Book Club. I then responded that the purpose of the Club was to stray from the beaten path, show a glimpse inside my head, figuratively speaking. If you want mainstream, look to the New York Times; if you want something a little different, look to Nerd. However, I agree with my grandmother that not all the books need to be off that path, so the new selection is in honor of her: Chicken Soup for the Baseball Fan’s Soul, by a bunch of people. I took this book with me on my trip because it is a collection of stories and anecdotes related to the game we all love. A book like this is perfect for travel because it can be read in snippets without losing your place. If the person sitting next to you on the plane is hogging the armrest while he snores in your ear, this is the perfect book. You can finish the 3-page story you are on, elbow him in the ribs, and move onto the next without losing the flow like you could with a novel. Or if the pilot seems intent on pointing out the top of every mountain you pass, which is more often than not only seen from the windows on the other side of the plane from you, you can quietly mutter to yourself and not lose track of any complicated plot points. Obviously, I didn’t just pick this book due to its travel benefits; it really is a good read. There are stories to make you laugh, cry, and reminisce. I was surprised on how many of the stories would be a perfect fit in the Dugout. I actually got déjà vu reading some of them. If you are a fan of the Chicken Soup series, and Baseball, this book is perfect for you. And Grandmom, I’ll keep my eyes open for some more things we all can enjoy.

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

The beginning of a new Season is once again upon us. And once again, Nerd has high hopes. It was a long winter without Baseball but with the sun shining and the crack of the bat echoing off the hill all is right with the world. The Team is looking mighty good. We had to say farewell to some guys, but welcomed some new ones. We got off to an excellent start sweeping through the exhibition games, getting solid pitching and great hitting. The first Sunday game of the year got us started on the right foot (or with Pedro’s complete game shutout win maybe I should say left foot) I sure wouldn’t want to be out on that hill facing our line-up either. When you get home runs from the leadoff and seven spots (like we did on Opening Day), you got a Team to be reckoned with. The batting order looks like the perfect mix of speed and power, which means a little bit of small ball, and the delight of the long ball. The pitching has gotten deeper with the return of Pedro and the addition of Bones. Defense could be the key, but I have faith in all the guys that they can make the plays. I do not envy Pertz one bit; he is going to be sprouting some gray ones with the amount of talent we have.

Nerd envisions a streak with everybody comfortable with his role; guys up and down the bench making contributions. I see solid pitching outings, with arms coming in to shut the door. I see jumping out to big leads, with clutch hits and smart baserunning. I see late-inning pinch-hits pounding the nail in the other team’s coffin. And I see smooth, crisp defense making it all seem easy. I see big things. What I also hope to see is every Dweller in MHT Country out at the ballpark. Lots of road games to kick off the Season but that just means a wonderful stretch of home games to wind it up. So, grab your chair and come on down – it’s Baseball for goodness sakes.

Nerd is going to try something a tad different this year. I’m going to attempt to cut down on the length of these articles. I have a tendency to be long-winded. I’m hoping that if I can make them shorter, I’ll be able to churn more out. Of course, my schedule, as well as Webmaster Pedro’s, will dictate some of this, but that’s the plan anyway.

Hopefully, y’all have figured out the answers to the past article’s trivia questions, since it was over six months ago. I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t post the answers. As you may or may not remember the questions were inspired by my trip to Portland to see my brothers. So, here they are:

o Robin Yount. Brought in to pitch the ninth inning of a game toward the end of the '71 season, Larry felt some discomfort in his arm while warming up and never threw a pitch in his major league debut. He was shelved for the rest of the season and never made it back to The Show.

Ÿ Whose brother Tom lays claim to the highest career batting average and on-base percentage in baseball history?

o John Paciorek played only one game on the last day of the 1963 season. He went 3-for-3 with two walks to lay claim to the highest career batting averages and on-base percentage.

This season I am going to try something different with the trivia section. Instead of posting multiple questions in each article, I am going to come up with one, more difficult question. I’ll try to mix it up with tough brainteasers and detailed Baseball-related questions. So, although there will be only one question, it should take you awhile to figure out the answer.

Einstein's Pet Problem

Einstein wrote the following riddle. He said that 98% of the world could not solve it. Give it a try and remember patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to brainteasers:

There are 5 houses in 5 different colors in a row. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage. Other facts:

“The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.” Babe Ruth

“The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.” Henry Van Dyke, (in honor of the frigid weather on Opening Day).

“Give me the splendid silent sun with all his beams full-dazzling.” Walt Whitman

“Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing.” Toni Morrison, (Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers; I love you, Mom.)

“May the Force be with you.” Obi-Wan Kenobi, (what kind of a Nerd would I be if I wasn’t excited about the new Star Wars?)

We all have pet peeves. Some people can’t stand the sound of fingernails scraping a blackboard. Some people need the toilet paper to be put on a certain way, or they go crazy. And others go nuts behind the wheel, for all kinds of different reasons. As for Nerd, my peeves are three, and they are these: gum smacking, more than fifteen items in the express lane, and poor grammar. Before everybody becomes all tight-lipped around me, let me explain. I don’t mind the occasional misused word, or the “me and him went to the movies.” What bugs me is the slaughter of the language when used in print, i.e. billboards and TV commercials, especially bad pronunciation. “Best Waffles in Town – There Great!” Are you kidding me? I can’t trust your waffle prowess if you don’t know English.

My newest selection to Nerd’s Book Club deals with this very subject: the art of punctuation. Rest assured, Dwellers, this isn’t a high school textbook. Eats, Shoots, & Leaves, by Lynne Truss makes English fun. Ms Truss takes you through all the wonderful squiggly lines and little dots that keep us sane. If you have always wanted to know the proper use of the ellipsis, this is the place to go. If you have always wanted to know what an ellipsis is, it will tell you that too. Instead of a review, I have decided to let the back of the book sell itself.

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

In case you missed it, just wanted to remind everyone that on this very page in the end of the season argument starter, Nerd correctly picked the World Series Champion. To keep the trend rolling, Phoenix Suns over the Miami Heat in six games.

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Hello? Is there anybody out there? Writing this article has been a very interesting experience for me. The lack of any instant feedback makes it feels as if I am merely talking to myself. That’s not to say that I don’t get any feedback at all. I truly appreciate all you Dwellers out there that take the time to read what I have to say – and offer your praise and encouragement. What I am saying is that sitting alone at my little cubicle deep within Nerd Central Command (Location: Classified), writing these modest articles is akin to therapy. So, the Dugout is my couch, and the Dwellers, my shrink. That should explain why I tend to be a tad wordy; there is a lot of stuff rattling around up in my head. But enough of that, and on to more important things: Baseball and MHT.

MHT has continued its torrid pace. After winning the Opener at home, we strung together three impressive road wins. The Team has looked beyond sharp. Pitching has been absolutely superb. The Elder Statesman, Pedro, has notched quality start after quality start. And now with B-Town back, with an excellent first start at then-undefeated CP, are pitching looks ready for the long haul. The defense has been flawless, with Cooker leading the charge with some gems at short. And the hitting – tremendous. In all three wins, the leadoff batter has scored; which obviously translates to us getting a lead before they even get a chance. It makes a statement to jump out early on a team, especially at their place. The acquisition of Hin-Son has shown some mighty early dividends, with an extra-inning game-winning bomb in Waunakee. The hitting, up and down the order, has been clutch, with the Team hitting a blistering .323, and four guys over .400.

Night League is looking great, too. Started off with two big wins, in one week due to a rainout. One of those wins being against Waunakee, putting that all-important record against them to 2-0 for the Season. A lot of guys who haven’t had a chance to shine on Sundays have made the most of their opportunities in Night and exhibition games. What can you say about DL joining the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?

Looking good all the way around, and Nerd likes it. Big Memorial Day weekend with two games on the slate. Here’s to the smile staying on my face.

Feedback on the last Brainteaser was sparse. However, I think most people enjoyed it. Before I give you a round of Baseball questions, here is one more teaser to give the brain some exercise.

Nerd frequently has to travel for his company, which gives him a chance to meet many people from all parts of the USA. In April, Nerd flew to five different US cities on business and he flew a different airline each time. During each trip he chatted with the person next to him, and no two people he talked to were in the same profession.

From the information, can you determine the date Nerd made each flight (each was on a Monday exactly one week apart starting on April 2nd), the airline he flew, his destination, and the profession of the person who sat next to him on each flight?

1. Three consecutive flights were, in order from first to last, the flight Nerd took with WTA Airways, the flight where he sat next to the teacher, and the flight he took to Atlanta.

2. Nerd sat beside the sports coach on a flight some time earlier in the month than the one he took to Seattle.

3. The week he flew Air Express was some time earlier in the month than the trip to Boston, which was some time earlier in the month than the trip where he sat next to the ballet dancer.

4. It wasn't on the trip to San Diego where Nerd sat next to the doctor.

5. Nerd didn't fly Skyways on his trip to Seattle, and he didn't fly WTA Airways on the trip where he sat next to the sports coach.

6. Atlanta was not Nerd’s destination on the trip where he made the acquaintance of the ballet dancer.

7. The Fly America flight was exactly two weeks before the flight where Nerd passed the time chatting with the attorney.

The Answer from last time:

Einstein's Pet Problem – The German owns the fish.

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Mark Twain

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein

“Once you say you are going to settle for second, that’s what happens to you in life.” – John F. Kennedy

“Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.” – Bob Uecker

Nerd doesn’t normally read a lot of autobiographies, especially by athletes or actors. They tend to be too boastful for my tastes. However, I did read Michael J. Fox’s book, Lucky Man: A Memoir, and was duly impressed. Being stricken with a disease or injured in an accident is very difficult to accept. How the individual responds to that adversity says a great deal about that person and his or her character. I have an enormous amount of respect for Michael J. Fox, and only a small amount is due to him being a 5’2” werewolf who can dunk a basketball in between time traveling adventures.

No argument starter this time. Nerd is slightly upset with the happenings in the NBA since his playoff prediction. I pick the Suns and Joe Johnson breaks his face. So, for this time out the Dugout Jinx is on hiatus.

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the weather’s been hot, MHT – not so much. Since Memorial Day, MHT has been playing below .500 ball on Sundays. Not good in a division as tough as ours, and it has caused a traffic jam in the standings. The losses have been hard to take. We have the talent and skill to succeed but our focus and intensity have been lacking at times. And those lapses have cost us games. We got a bull’s-eye on our backs and the other teams out there bring their A+ effort when we are in town. We’ve definitely struggled to put a solid game together - getting an early lead and sitting on it, committing errors that lead to big innings for the opponent, quiet bats with runners on and two outs.

However, the bright spots have sure been blinding. We are hitting a scorching .320 as a Team, with four guys still hitting over .400. The League leader list comes out soon and it should be peppered with our boys (provided the home-cooking elsewhere isn’t laced with something fishy). Our power numbers are up too, with nearly a third of our hits going for extra bases. The Reedsburg game is a great example, with nine of our whopping eighteen hits being two-baggers or better. Pitching has remained solid as well. The Team’s ERA is well below 3.00, which shows you the guys laboring on the hill have done their part (we should be able to score 3 runs every time out). It doesn’t take a Nerd to see we got the goods, just need to shape up and start proving we don’t just belong at the party, but should be hosting it.

This potential can absolutely be seen in games outside of Day League. We are playing super-tough Baseball in Night League, reeling off a 6-0 record. We dropped into Cazenovia and took their Tournament title, with Boo, E-Si, and Hin-Son (MVP) making the All-Tourney Team. Lots of guys are getting time with all the Exhibition and Night games and making the most of their opportunities. It’s great to win those games but it is even better that we are using those chances to improve as a Team. Every play of every game helps us build what we are striving for. It’s not whether you won or lost but how you played the game, but how you play the game definitely determines whether you win or lose. And winning certainly feels better than losing.

Well, nothing but home games in the month of July. We know the areas that need improvement and we have this stretch run at home to iron out those kinks, and put a streak together that carries us into the playoffs on a high note. So, hope to see you all at the park.

Back to some Baseball-related brainteasers for this go-around. Nerd promised to keep this section short, but thought these were too good to pass up. Not really trivia, but should get you thinking.

The Answer from last time: Apparently, nobody really looked at this too closely since I got no response that there was a city and an airline missing, but here it is anyway.

Date                    Airline                        Destination                        Seat Mate
April 2nd               WTA Airways              Chicago                               Doctor
April 9th               Fly America              San Diego                         Teacher
April 16th              Air Express              Atlanta                                  Sports Coach
April 23rd              Skyways                             Boston                                  Attorney
April 30th              MidUSA Air               Seattle                                  Ballet Dancer

(Hold up cell phone) Hey Ump, is this your cell phone? Because it has three missed calls!

Everybody knows that Nerd has a great thirst for knowledge. What you also probably know is that Nerd is not too big on extra work. So, when I heard about this guy who read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica, I thought what a great idea. I instantly thought that it would be so cool to learn all that information. My second thought was: that will take way too long. Then I heard that this guy wrote about his experience. And that he divided the book into alphabetical chapters, with each chapter giving various tidbits straight from the Encyclopedia. Of course, Nerd came to the obvious conclusion: read the book, save the time, and still learn a bunch of stuff that I’ll never need in everyday life – perfect. The book I am talking about is The Know-It-All, by A.J. Jacobs. This book is loaded with all kinds of useless info which will at best help you win that pie piece, at worst clog your brain. Keep in mind Ebbinghaus and his forgetting curve, though. It has something to do with the more stuff you learn the more you tend to forget. So, while reading this book will teach you that a-ak (ancient East Asian music) is the first word in the Encyclopedia or that heroin was developed by Bayer, you might very well forget your middle name. It is fun nevertheless. Trivial Pursuit, anyone?

I’m going to step away from a sports-themed argument starter and try something a little different. Best Cereal Ever – Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

So that concludes another edition of the Dugout. I hope you had a pleasant stay, and you are welcome back anytime.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” or “where the heck is the next article” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

This has been one heck of a month, emotions like a yo-yo on a string. Off the field, things have been really tough, but the support we find in each other has made it nearly bearable. The Team has definitely grown as a Family. And it has carried onto the field, as well. We are playing great, with each guy doing his part. We truly have each other’s back, in every sense; whether it’s a pat on the back when you’re low, or a base hit by a buddy after you fail. And it is inspiring and makes Nerd proud.

The games in July have been excellent, with MHT on the good side more often than not. The Team started a big winning streak Fourth of July weekend that wrapped up our first division title in years. We had a blowout, some nail-biters, and a huge come-from-behind win. It all adds up to a five game streak on Sundays. The heroes have been many. We still got several guys competing in the top ten of hitting. (And the number would be more if the league got rid of the crazy three at-bats per game minimum. Even the Major League goes by plate appearances and they can hardly do anything right.) The power displayed has been something to behold with Boo, House, and Hin-Son leading the charge. Just the Waunakee game alone provided enough Rhythm and Booms-type of excitement: back-to-back homers early and a 2-run bomb by Housework to bring us all the way back from an early deficit, capped by Beau’s game-winning single (just a single?) in the 11^th inning. B-Town’s battled the opponents, as much as the heat, to once again show us if we can score a handful, it’s all she wrote. E-Si has emerged as a shutdown closer, when he isn’t trying to play every position on the field. And the fielding has been dynamite. We are putting a stretch together of nearly error-less ball. The outfield is tracking down everything, highlighted by Mikey (no, he’s Scott) Brabender proving that walls are merely an inconvenience. The infield has a new sponsor in Hoover, sucking up everything and keeping the bases clean. We have seen stellar plays all around: E-Si barehanded, Pedro’s liner turned double play against Waunakee, Brabs and Cooker working the middle to perfection. It has been a fun stretch.

Night League has been a joy, too. MHT finished the regular season with an unblemished record. Lots of guys have been getting time in these games and it is great to see them step in and the Team not miss a beat. Mikey threw a gem in the first play-off game, and Boo hit one to the courts to secure the W. Hopefully, we can remain sharp and take the NL title. It’d be nice to have that notch in our belt, and use these games to drive us in the Sunday playoffs.

The dog days of Summer are upon us, and playoffs are coming. It is a fun time. If the Team keeps doing what they’re doing, Nerd has a feeling. We need you at the park, the more the better.

The Answers from last time:

1) 28. Official game is five innings if called for rain. Six pitches an inning thru 4 innings and then three in the top of the 5^th and one in the bottom of the 5^th for the game-winning home run.

4) Walk, hit batsman, catcher’s interference, dropped 3^rd strike, error by
fielder, and fielder's choice.

5) And the last one is change-up, because you have to have a speed
established first.

Sheeks proposed an MHT-oriented quote section, and, of course, I obey immediately whenever he asks me to do anything. So here it is, the MHT Top Ten. The ground rules were simple: it must be original to MHT (therefore, no “soupcan it”), it must be recognizable to the majority of the Team, it must be somewhat humorous, and Nerd’s gotta like it (cuz it’s my article). Remember, always more fun when you can channel the original speaker.