Welcome to the Middleton Home Talent site!

Please allow me to introduce myself (to those I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting); my name is Nerd. I am a member of the Middleton Home Talent squad, serving primarily as Chief Scorekeeper, a position I take most seriously. I will be appearing in this space quite often in the months to come, especially with Summer approaching fast.

This column will delve into a variety of matters, but the focus will, of course, be the goings-on of Middleton Home Talent. Everything written on this page will be from my perspective; from current affairs, pop culture, and the weather to my reasoning behind why SoAndSo got an error or UmpWhatsHisName needs his head examined. Although seeing the world through my eyes will often be odd, sometimes scary, I am hoping it will never be dull. And since I will be writing mostly about Baseball and Middleton Home Talent (which hereafter will be shortened to MHT because it takes too damn long to type) I am sure I will not have a problem with keeping your attention. After this column I have an article planned summing up our Annual Bowling Tournament and there will be sporadic notes regarding Spring Training. My regular schedule will begin with our season and you can expect an article a week, come Hell or high water. There is no particular format I will be following, and Pedro assured me I have no maximum/minimum limit on word count, so things may tend to seem out of sorts, rambling, maybe even incoherent, but trust me there is always a method to Nerdness. And you can also trust me that after a few of these columns no one is going to be wondering, Why do they call that guy Nerd?

Not only do I plan on discussing the events of our season and the peculiar but hilarious things that happen during practice and on the bench during games, but I also have a few weekly segments. This here Trivia Section is one. I will pose a question to all of you each week, during the season it will be strictly Baseball-oriented. The following week I will post the answer to the previous week’s question. If you have absolutely no patience and you must know the answer (Attn: Mandy), seek me out and ask or you can email me with your answer and I will reply (my email address is posted at the bottom of the page).

What is the symbolism of Rock, Paper, and Scissors? (meaning: what do they stand for - I know what beats what) And what is the origin of Roshambo, the term also used to refer to it?

By the way, this question is dedicated to Pedro and Stacy since this may be the only way to decide whether or not he plays this year.

“Boys, baseball is a game where you gotta have fun. You do that by winning.” – Dave Bristol

I had the absolute greatest time of my life last Summer and want to thank you all for it. Nothing could have been more fun than spending a Summer around Baseball and you guys, and our Fans, and winning a Championship. On the rare occasion when I enter a local watering hole it gives me goose bumps when someone says, “Congrats on the Championship” or “Hey Champ!” It is a feeling we should all take great pride in. We truly had a Storybook Season. From start to finish, it was right out of a Hollywood screenplay.

A group of young men start a magical season of Baseball. Key players still haven’t joined, new guys looking for a position, old guys searching for their role. Guided by an ex-player, rookie coach. The season progresses slowly, more losses than wins, but huge potential looming on the horizon. After awhile the team takes shape. Players find their positions, their roles. Weddings and parties, and a touch of inner turmoil, bring them closer, as teammates become friends. A rallying point is found after the most significant loss of the season, the death of a True Fan. A dedicated season becomes more real, a promise more meaningful. The wins start to come more easily. The team becomes a Team. The arrival of the comical character and faithful fan, Scooby, helps make the game fun, gives them a totem to guide them. The playoffs arrive. The crowd in the stands always devoted grows with each game; their cheers intensify. Each win more exciting than the last. A Team winning, despite their errors, driven by a workhorse that refuses to lose. The final game, the Championship trophy within their grasp and another obstacle steps in their way. The true test of Team given when principal players, ones whose play paved the way cannot take the field. But others step in, waiting for their chance, and deliver on the grandest stage. A Team standing alone as Champions.

I don’t know about anybody else but I’d pay eight bucks to see that movie, every day for the rest of my life. We are the only ones in all of Home Talent that can’t be called Loser. Although, the winter can be sad without Baseball, it sure is nice to be a Winner while waiting for the first crack of the bat.

"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." - Rogers Hornsby

“Since baseball time is measured only in outs, all you have to do is succeed utterly; keep hitting, keep the rally alive, and you have defeated time. You remain forever young.” - Roger Angell

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to keep playing baseball." - Pete Rose

Back to another section which shall be recurring on a semi-regular basis. I wanted to do this weekly but realized that some people may not have as much free time as I do and may need longer than a week to finish a book. Obviously, no one is required to read anything I suggest in this space, I just enjoy recommending books that I feel others will like. Plus, expanding your vocabulary through the wonderful world of literature will help you all when you are conducting interviews or speaking before the parole board.

“This is a very good baseball book. Okrent's starting point is a game between the Baltimore Orioles and Milwaukee Brewers on June 10, 1982. From there, in meaningful digressions, he reveals the recent skirmishes of the game, the egos of the players, the signing of the talent, the history of the club, the machinations of the local business leaders in getting the club. We get the scouts and what they look for (speed, first, because it can't be taught, and body type: thick legs are bad, stiff wrists on a pitcher are bad), the wallowing in the minors (only 8.9 percent of players signed actually make the bigs). We get the road trips, the roommates, the shuffling of positions. Okrent gives us the relationship between reporters and players ("Singleton, said one Baltimore writer in the Milwaukee press box, 'couldn't tag up from third on a fly to Green Bay'"), the trades made (the Ted Simmons deal) and missed (Mike Caldwell for Ryne Sandberg), and the fact that umpires warm up along with relief pitchers, calling the balls and strikes in their head. Put it this way: the book begins with the groundskeepers and ends with the clean-up crew, and most of what comes in-between is insightful, and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny:

One year, (Alex) Johnson had hit 7 homeruns by midseason, compared to 3 the year before. A Philadelphia writer asked him, "Alex, what's the difference between your homers last year and your homers this year?” Johnson glared at the reporter and said, "Four, you motherf***er, four!"

This is a really good book. It has some great stories in it that will surely appeal to the Brewer fans out there, but it also has a lot of other stuff about the state of the game. With the way the Majors are now, with high salaries, looming strikes, and Selig as commissioner, it is interesting to look back and see that a lot of the problems began back then. I hope that those of you who choose to read this enjoy it. Happy reading!

Well, that is all I have for this time. Hope to see you all at the Bowling Tournament.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Hello again, Dugout Dwellers!! (Yes, I have given y’all a nickname) Thanks for stopping back into the Dugout. I also want to thank all of the players and fans that made the MHT Bowling Tournament such a success. I trust all had a good time. I know I had a great time. Nothing like the tourney to get the blood pumping and ready for Spring and Baseball. It seems everywhere I turn there is a new reminder that the season is quickly approaching. Whether it’s that damnable snow finally melting away, the high schoolers taking BP down at the school, or a favorite Baseball-inspired movie on the television. As for the last one, I had the pleasure of watching Field of Dreams last night on the tube. I absolutely love that movie. In a perfect world, everyone would have a diamond in his or her backyard, regulation or wiffleball. Watching that movie really got me excited to get back out there and smell the leather and grass, and feel the sun beating down on my face. There is nothing better than Darth Vader talking Baseball to inspire you. Does anyone else’s living room get really dusty watching that movie?

While our season draws near, another sport is coming to a close. I want to pass on my congratulations to the Middleton High School Girls Basketball squad for an outstanding season. I don’t know any of the individual players, but I followed their State run in the paper, and applaud their success. It’s great to see a Team come together and strive for their goals. March Madness is here as well, and I would be remiss if I didn’t chime in on that with my two cents. The Badgers have a tough row to hoe, but I’m anxious to see them face my Wildcats (the ones from the desert) in the Final Four. And for those who believe in jinxes, Go IUPUI! I wish all Dwellers prosperity with your office pools and Internet brackets. It is nice to have the craziness of the NCAA tournament segue to the serenity of Baseball.

Well, I hope everybody else is as anxious as I am to get the glove and cleats out of the closet and get going again. Some of us have been lucky enough to be playing already, and I want to wish all of our college players good luck this Spring. We will be cheering for you, and awaiting your return. And everybody else I will see you on March 27 (just a week away).

Many of you gave me your thoughts on the origin of the game - Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Some of you even made a point in telling me that there is no known origin. But through extensive research Nerd has all the answers.

The earliest known version of the game dates back as far as 200 BC Japan. But Nerd, you say, they didn’t have scissors in BC Japan. Correct, you are. The early versions used different names associated with the symbols. For example, ancient Indonesia used an elephant, man, and an ant. The elephant can crush the person, the person can crush the ant, but how can the ant win against the elephant? It crawls in the elephant's ear and drives it crazy. Other variations exist for different cultures and different times. As for the symbolism associated with our current Rock, Paper, and Scissors, here you go:

Thanks to Tim Cleary for supplying some of this information. He had the most detailed email answer and therefore holds the Nerd Golden Cup of Triviality.

Now, for the significance of Roshambo. In Europe, mid-1700s, the game, for some reason, came to be associated with one Jean Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, Comte de Rochambeau. Jean Baptiste was none other than the French general who was sent to command an army in support of George Washington during the American Revolution. Why this game came to be associated with the "Count of Rochambeau" is a mystery, but it certainly calls into question the means by which Washington secured Cornwallis's surrender in Yorktown. In any case, it does explain the name often used for the game, namely "Rochambeau," or, more commonly, "Roshambo."

So there you go, the detailed yet researched answer to The Dugout’s first trivia question.

"Why certainly I'd like to have that fellow who hits a home run every time at bat, who strikes out every opposing batter when he's pitching, who throws strikes to any base or the plate when he's playing outfield and who's always thinking about two innings ahead just what he'll do to baffle the other team. Any manager would want a guy like that playing for him. The only trouble is to get him to put down his cup of beer and come down out of the stands and do those things.” - Danny Murtaugh, manager (dedicated to Pertz)

"There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time. I owe him my best.” – Joe DiMaggio

"I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for $3,000. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up." – Bob Uecker

“The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.” – Terrence Mann (James Earl Jones) Field of Dreams

The first installment of the Nerd Book Club was somewhat of a success. Many of you expressed an interest in Nine Innings, and that brought a smile to my face. I take great pleasure in recommending books to people that I think they will enjoy, especially when they go out and read them. By the way, if any of you Dugout Dwellers have read any books that you think I, or for that matter anyone, would like, send me an email and let me know. Who knows it may end up in the Club.

“If The Big Chill had Gen X angst, you would probably have something like Plan B. It is the story of five friends from college who are turning 30 and struggling with what it means to be an adult. Ben, the narrator, is a frustrated writer and recent divorcee; Lindsey, unemployed and afraid of commitment; Chuck, a doctor and unapologetic womanizer; and Alison, a lawyer and unrequitedly in love with Jack, a major movie star and cocaine addict. Afraid that Jack has hit bottom with his drug habit, Ben and his friends decide to help. Plan A is an intervention, and when that fails, they go to Plan B--kidnap Jack and hole up in a cabin in the woods until he goes through withdrawal. Everything goes as planned until Jack escapes. However, Jack's addiction is just a vehicle for Tropper in this debut novel to explore the group's personal demons, failings, and relationships. Moreover, he does it with wit, insight, and a lot of fun cultural references to the '80s.”

Although not a baseball book, I promise you will thoroughly enjoy this. It tells the tale of what it is like to turn 30 and realize what you had planned for your life, when you were 15, isn’t necessarily what happened with it. I know some of you may have passed this mark already, or it is far on the horizon, but the story in itself is entertaining. The music of the 80s, Star Wars, Seinfeld, all find themselves in the book, not just to make you laugh and remember but because those things truly shape how we view life. Trust me, you won’t be able to put this down. The world-famous literary critic, Sam-a-lama, actually read this in one night.

Thanks to all for sharing this time with me. I promise once this column appears on a weekly basis I will not be as long-winded. First practice is Thursday, March 27. The weekly article will begin on Tuesday, April 1. How fitting of a day is that?

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

“Hello again, everybody. It's a bee-yooo-tiful day for baseball.” Not many people could get you excited for a Baseball game like Harry Caray, so I thought I would honor him by opening with his trademark line. I apologize to all you Dugout Dwellers who were waiting with bated breath for this article. I was suffering from a prolonged period of mourning due to my beloved Wildcats stumbling in the Tourney. But no need to worry, I will now be appearing on a weekly basis. I am sure that before long you will be wishing for another delay.

Well, MHT has completed its exhibition season and one thing is clear: I sure missed Baseball. We played four games and managed to split, 2-2. There were moments of greatness and times that looked like a couple more hours of practice would have been nice, but all in all, we did well. It is pretty tough when you have players on the field who haven’t played in years, or at all. We will be much better off when we got the whole team available. Even the Big Nerd was on the hill for four innings. I don’t think I have lasted that long on the mound since high school, back when our Spice Girls were in elementary school. But the pre-season games are behind us, and Opening Day is this Sunday down at Sorenson/Bakken Field. It will be the first of four straight home games to open the season, and our run to defend the title. I trust I will see a monstrous crowd on the hill.

And now, a little tidbit from the back of my brain: The other day I was reading about the Maloof brothers, they own the Sacramento Kings and the Palms Resort in Las Vegas. I was daydreaming about how nice it would be to have that much cash. So, if I had a million dollars, I would…Open a Baseball Themed Amusement Park, with a twist. I would build Wiffle Ball regulation-sized replicas of all existing and famous ballparks. Each stadium would look exactly like it does or did in its time, complete with pennants and retired jerseys. Each dugout would be a mini-museum, with memorabilia and videos documenting the park and its team. Interspersed among the ballparks would be batting cages and mounds set up with radar guns. It would be a completely interactive experience. Every night teams would be selected from the visitors based on age and skill level. The teams would battle it out, Wiffle Ball-style, in short, hour-long games held at the various ballparks. Now wouldn’t that be fun? But if I had a million dollars…I’d be rich, and I am most definitely not.

Several people responded to last article’s question, with Ryan Suchomel sending in his answer before I even knew the article was on the website. Some were correct, some were wrong, and some were correct but not what I was originally looking for. This confusion was my fault. Yes, Nerd made a mistake. I should have phrased my question better. However, my vagueness led to more answers, and my Hank Aaron trivia knowledge has grown.

The original question asked - what unusual event accounts for Aaron and Babe Ruth being tied for third place on the all-time list in runs scored. What I should have said was what event in his last game accounts for the tie.

On October 3, 1976, in the final at bat of his career, Aaron singled in the bottom of the sixth inning off Dave Roberts of the Tigers. Manager Alex Grammas then lifted Aaron, so he could be greeted by thunderous applause at Milwaukee County Stadium. Pinch runner Jim Gantner scored what would have been Aaron’s 2175^th run, which would have broken the tie.

On May 26, 1959, Harvey Haddix of the Pittsburgh Pirates pitched 12 perfect innings (yes, 12) against the Braves. In the 13^th, after a hit and a sacrifice, Aaron was walked intentionally. Joe Adcock followed by hitting the ball out of the park. Aaron, in jubilation, ran off the field to celebrate the win, and Adcock passed him. Aaron and Adcock were each called out, as Felix Mantilla scored the winning run.

So there you go, two correct answers, both equally unusual, that account for Aaron being tied with Ruth. Therefore, Nerd’s Golden Cup of Triviality is split three ways between Suchomel, Sam, and Bags. Please use separate straws, guys.

Who am I? I was Prefect of Discipline, as well as head baseball coach at a small New England college in the late 1800s. This school made an appearance in the 2003 NCAA Basketball Tournament. I am often credited with the origination of the Seventh Inning Stretch.

Extra credit will be given to those who give information that discredit this man’s claim to the Stretch.

"A ballplayer spends a good piece of his life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time." – Jim Bouton, New York Yankees

"Nothing flatters me more than to have it assumed that I could write prose-unless it be to have it assumed that I once pitched a baseball with distinction." - Robert Frost

"The highlight of my career? In '67 with St. Louis, I walked with the bases loaded to drive in the winning run in an intersquad game in spring training." – Bob Uecker

"I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter; that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit." -Tim McCarver (St. Louis Cardinals catcher)

From here on out, Nerd Book Club will be a monthly feature. Even I can’t read some of these books in a week. By limiting the Club to one selection at the beginning of each month, I hope that some of you can take pleasure in the books I will be recommending.

"Once there was a tree ... and she loved a little boy." So begins a story of unforgettable perception, beautifully written and illustrated by the gifted and versatile Shel Silverstein.

Every day the boy would come to the tree to eat her apples, swing from her branches, or slide down her trunk ... and the tree was happy. But as the boy grew older he began to want more from the tree, and the tree gave and gave and gave.

This is a tender story, touched with sadness, aglow with consolation. Shel Silverstein has created a moving parable for readers of all ages that offers an affecting interpretation of the gift of giving and a serene acceptance of another's capacity to love in return.

I chose this for a couple of reasons. First of all, a lot of my friends have been having children lately and Shel Silverstein is one of my favorite authors. This book is very short, as most children’s books are, but the lessons learned within will last a long time. I absolutely love this book, and believe it should be on every child’s bookshelf and on every adult’s nightstand.

Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Thanks to all for sharing this time with me. It is time for me to go – I have to sharpen my pencils so I will be ready on Sunday.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Hey there, Denizens of the Dugout! The first game of the season is behind us and a big fat W is in the books. MHT kicked off the year against Cazenovia, and did so with a bang, eight runs in the first inning. Wouldn’t that be lovely every week? Everybody did his part extremely well. Lots of base runners (12 hits, 7 walks), and only two errors in the field (one debatable, and one preventable, if Nerd had longer arms). It was nice to see the Coach step up to the plate and continue his hot hitting with a bases clearing double in the first, thus justifying his placement as DH. Plus, it is always entertaining to see him leg one out. Ralph did an excellent job on the mound, using the cushion we gave him to go out there and get outs and the win. The crowd was nice for the weather. It’s great to get support when it’s chilly. Awesome job, guys!

The second game of the season was rained out. That could have been predicted, I suppose, it being Mother’s Day. Mother Nature had to make an appearance. I hope all of you had wonderful days with your families. I want to send my love West, and wish my mother a Very Happy Mother’s Day.

“The word “mother” is already a synonym for some of the hardest, most demanding work ever shouldered by any human…It is one she cannot easily give up for several decades. It can be slavery, joy in work, a magnificent career. It can be failure or triumph, but it can never be insignificant or unimportant since it is one “job” affecting the outcome of another’s life.” Liz Smith

We have a big week in store for us -- An exhibition game, Night League opener, make-up of the rain out, and our regular Sunday game, against Waunakee. Four games, all at home. College guys should be around, so it should be exciting. Let’s get this party started!!

Once again, several of you emailed me your answers to last week’s question. However, not all of you read the entire question. I asked who holds claim to the 7^th Inning Stretch, but also was the Prefect of Discipline at a university in the late 1800s. I also asked for any information to discredit that claim.

Brother Jasper. He was the Prefect of Discipline at Manhattan College, and supervised the student fans during baseball games while also directing the team itself. During one game in 1882, Brother Jasper noticed the Manhattan students were becoming restless and edgy as Manhattan came to bat in the seventh inning of a close game. To relieve the tension, Brother Jasper called time-out and told the students to stand up and stretch for a few minutes until the game resumed. Since the College annually played the New York Giants, their practice of the "seventh inning stretch" spread into the major leagues.

However, there is evidence to dispute this as being the first instance of a 7^th Inning Stretch. Baseball historians have found a manuscript, dated 1869, describing the Stretch. Harry Wright of the Cincinnati Red Stockings wrote a letter with the following account – "The spectators all arise between halves of the seventh inning, extend their legs and arms and sometimes walk about. In so doing they enjoy the relief afforded by relaxation from a long posture upon hard benches." So maybe Brother Jasper was a fan of the Red Stockings, attended one of these games, and borrowed the idea.

There is also another man who some claim started the Stretch. President William Howard Taft, weighing in at well over 300 pounds, tossed out the first pitch in a game on April 14, 1910. Legend has it that later during that game he rose to adjust himself, since seats during that time were better suited for a man of much smaller size. The fans, thinking the President was leaving, all rose. When he sat back down, so did they, thus starting the tradition of the Stretch. However, this story is more fairy tale than truth, especially given the evidence above.

As for Nerd’s Golden Cup of Triviality, the honor goes to my father this week, for the most complete answer. Congratulations, Pops, I knew you had it in you.

President Taft did set a precedent on that day back in 1910. He became the first President to throw out the ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day. Every president since has continued the tradition at least once during his tenure except one. Finding the answer to that would be far too easy, so that is not the question. The question is: why did Jimmy Carter never throw out a first pitch on Opening Day?

"Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time." - Lou Brock

"For five years in the minor leagues, I wore the same underwear and still hit .250, so no, I don't believe in that stuff." - Dusty Baker, on superstitions

"I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase." - Bob Uecker

"I remember one game I got five hits and stole five bases, but none of it was written down because they forgot to bring the scorebook to the game that day." - James "Cool Papa" Bell (further evidence why I play such a pivotal role)

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Lots of games this week, folks. Plenty of chances to see y’all at the ballpark. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

Well, all good things must end. And that includes Scooby Streaks. Our big week of Baseball, with an exhibition game, Night League opener, and two Day League contests, started off with a rainout and ended with the first loss in awhile, with two great wins in between.

Our exhibition game against Oregon was washed out, which benefited us considering that although we have a lot of good arms, it’s best to save them for games that count. And that was no more evident than on Thursday when we walloped Cambria, 9-1, in the Night League opener. Four of our guys went out there and pitched awesome. Bolstered by Housework’s “welcome back, I’ll have two jacks” hitting display, the game was never in doubt. A little side-note to this game, Nerd got his first MHT hit that counted. Woo-hoo!!

The following night the great pitching and hitting continued, with another nine run tally against Mazomanie. Up and down the line-up we had guys with multiple hits, with TC leading the way with a 4 for 5 barrage. The defense played strong behind B-Town’s return to the team, and Kruller closed out the 6-hit shutout. It is a very nice problem to have when Crutch Pertzborn can substitute mass players at a time and not miss a beat.

Sunday’s game with Waunakee, however, was another story. Riding a winning streak as long as we have has a lot of advantages, but it carries some weighty disadvantages as well. When you have that target of Champion on your back everyone is geared up to play you, which means no game should be taken lightly. I am, by no means, saying there was a lack of effort, or even fire, but for some games you need to have that little extra, and we needed it on Sunday and couldn’t find it. We lost a close one, 5-1, and had plenty of chances. The pitching was strong, the defense was good, but we couldn’t get the runs across. No worries, we’ll get ‘em. We just need to find that edge we had at the end of last year, where the clutch hits come, the fielding is crisp, our pitchers don’t walk runners (and if they do, they get stranded). It is early yet, and when a streak ends, it is simply time to start another one. And we have an excellent chance to do so this Memorial Day weekend. No better time to have a weekend with two games, when we can get the kinks straightened out and start riding that wave again.

Alas, my efforts to find an answer to a question that has been baffling me for months were unsuccessful. I am disappointed to announce that I have no idea why President Jimmy Carter never threw out a ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day while he was in office. He has thrown out pitches at World Series games, games in Cuba, and even is an avid softball player, but no Opening Day appearances. I have searched high and low for the answer and have come up empty-handed. Why Nerd, you ask, did I tease you with a question that I have no answer for? Well, I was hoping some great mind out there would have the answer, but no one seems to know. I have written emails to Major League Baseball, ESPN, Pat and Ron at WGN, and even the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library, who actually sent a very lengthy, and friendly response, but concluded by saying they have no idea either. Don’t fret, Dwellers, I will not rest this Summer until I have the answer, even if I have to search the man out myself. Stay tuned.

This week, in atonement for last, I will present you with three questions (all of which have answers). The answers can all be found in the Major League Rulebook, but I urge you to try to figure out the answers by yourself (especially Utes).

"Winning means outlasting everyone else." – Mason Cooley (to remind us all that the season is not a sprint, but a marathon)

"Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is." - Bob Feller

"Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of Old-Timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times." - Bob Uecker

“Nobody ever said, "Work ball!" They say, "Play ball!" To me, that means having fun.” –Willie Stargell

I have a mini-selection to the Book Club this week. It is not a novel you will find in bookstores, but a collection of works posted on a website. The prose found on this page displays a depth of talent that I think you will all enjoy. And considering the author is a former MHT’er, I felt Club selection was warranted. The author of whom I speak is Jordan Bodendein and his website is www.bodendein.com. Great stuff, Jordan, and I hope you don’t mind the plug.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Memorial Day weekend is coming up which means two big games for MHT. Time to get another streak going. Come out and have some fun, because fun and Baseball go hand in hand. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

After a weeklong hiatus, Dwellers, Nerd is back. Did ya miss me? After the exhilaration of watching the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee last week, I presented myself with the challenge of using the words given in the competition throughout this article. Because of the absence of occasions where betony or hypozeuxis can be used, I have chosen to incorporate words that won the Championship this year and in years past. Due to the meticulosity (1950) of this task, this article took a little longer than expected, and still pales to what I initially intended to do. I hope that it is intelligible (1935), and none of you need therapy (1940) after reading it. No worries, Dwellers, I will never be pococurante (2003) when it comes to the Dugout.

Memorial Day weekend saw MHT play two solid and important games, winning against Arena and at Ashton. We seem to be developing a knack (1932) for small-ball – bunting, stealing, hit-and runs. Although we have been burned a couple of times on the base paths, it is far better to play aggressive than to sit back and wait for the big blast. Kamikaze-style (1993), so to speak. Our pitching was superb, and the fielding steadfast. It felt eudaemonic (1959) to get a couple in the win column.

Last Thursday, on the other hand, was definitely some atrocious baseball. We seemed to have developed a case of narcolepsy (1976) while playing Monona. We surely looked as if we were asleep out there. No hitting, no fielding, missed signs. We seemed to be deteriorating (1934) before my very eyes. Coach Crutch was headed for a sanitarium (1938), but great teams are measured not by their successes but by their response to their failures, and we responded very well.

I am, of course, speaking of our Sunday game against Black Earth. Sometimes a different milieu (1985) helps. After getting some early runs and then struggling for a couple of innings, the Team exploded in the last three innings, belting 9 hits and scoring 7 runs. Final score: 12-2. Final result: we bounced back from a pitiful game and jumped all over a team that we need to beat, at their ballpark. Nerd couldn’t have been happier. I don’t want to sound elegiacal (1988), but this game was really big. Gutsy performance by B-Town in his longest outing of the year. And we had five guys make the newspaper with multiple hits. By the way, they had the initials (1941) MB, NS, TP, EV, and JG. Here’s hoping the momentum carries through to this next week.

Just a side note: Pedro has been doing an excellent job of updating our games every week on the News and Statistics pages, so if you yearn for more than I provide – go there.

And now, to conclude, I would like to say a few things about the Spelling Bee. I watched several hours of the Bee on TV and spent several more on the official website. I would like to share some things I witnessed and learned.

The only winner from WI was Madison’s Joanne Lagatta, who correctly spelled antipyretic.

Name the five players who hit better than .390 for a season and failed to win the batting crown that year.

There are eighteen pitchers who have recorded more than one no-hitter. Of those 18, four have had 3 or more no-hitters. Name these pitchers. (Hint: One threw 7, one threw 4, and two threw 3).

"I don't know what you're going to do Mr. (Dizzy) Dean, but I'm not going to give up any runs if we have to stay here all night." Satchel Paige

"A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while." Nuke LaLoosh, Bull Durham

"I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture." - Bob Uecker

Where Lou still starts
And Babe still swings
Where Johnny still sees
and Leo still screams
Where Don still throws
and Mickey still hits
Harry still sings

"I've always swung the same way. The difference is when I swing and miss, people say, 'He's swinging for the fences.' But when I swing and make contact people say, 'That's a nice swing.' But there's no difference, it's the same swing." – Sammy Sosa, (because I believe him, and don’t think it matters what bat he uses, he hits the ball far)

It is time for a new selection to the Book Club. I know many of you have been waiting for this moment with bated breath. The voracious reader Rick Schu has even stooped to sending me scathing emails demanding a new book to read. Hopefully, my past selections have elicited a similar thirst for Literature in other Dwellers. And since I have made it my duty to quench this thirst, my work continues. So, without further ado:

“These three novels brought Auster international acclaim for his creation of a new genre, mixing elements of the standard detective fiction and postmodern fiction. City of Glass combines dark, Kafka-like humor with all the suspense of a Hitchcock film as a writer of detective stories becomes embroiled in a complex and puzzling series of events, beginning with a call from a stranger in the middle of the night. Ghosts, the second volume of this interconnected trilogy, introduces Blue, a private detective hired to watch a man named Black, who, as he becomes intermeshed into a haunting and claustrophobic game of hide-and-seek, is lured into the very trap he has created. The final volume, The Locked Room, also begins with a mystery, told this time in the first-person narrative. The nameless hero journeys into the unknown as he attempts to reconstruct the past, which he has experienced almost as a dream. Together these three fictions lead the reader on adventures that expand the mind as they entertain.”

This is a very interesting book. It is comprised of three separate, but carefully connected, novellas. Although, each story is powerful and complete enough on its own, reading them together truly gives you the full experience. It is not an easy read, but a highly enjoyable one. Questions abound regarding identity, reality and illusion, the meaning of words and language, and it explores the fine line between commitment and obsession. It will definitely make you think.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

Huge game this Sunday at Cross Plains. A win gives us a share of 1^st Place, so we can use all the fan support we can get. Hope to see y’all there. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

As many of my friends and teammates are well aware, Nerd has a slight tendency to be late for things. Attempting to keep a once-a-week schedule with this article has proved to be a more daunting task than I expected, especially with exhibition games and rainouts tossing a wrench into the system. Nevertheless, I have returned, and there is much to address.

First and foremost, I want to send out a gigantic “congratulations!!!” to the Middleton High School Boys Baseball team for their superb performance in winning the State Championship. Many of us on the Middleton Home Talent squad, as well as neighboring Home Talent teams, are Middleton alums, and your accomplishments make us all proud. You peaked at the perfect time, and displayed a Team effort that should be applauded, loudly. Great Job, guys! (with a special pat-on-the-back to Coach Thomas T. Melvin).

Since my last article Father’s Day has come and gone. I’d like to extend a Happy Father’s Day to all those fathers out there in Dugout Land, especially my own. Fathers and Baseball go together a lot like peanut butter and jelly. Many of us probably wouldn’t be playing the game if our fathers weren’t fans, and in some cases players themselves. I can tell you a ton of stories about the bond formed by Baseball between my Dad and I. Granted, and he would agree, not all the stories are happy ones; however, those experiences made us who we are today, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Some of the most vivid memories I have of my early childhood involve Baseball and my Dad. I remember him: in the dugout as a coach when I was in Little League, teaching me to throw a curveball (which I never really grasped), throwing me balls until his arm ached (but always throwing more because I wanted to hit a little extra), tripping on the way to first base trying to beat out a ball hit back to the pitcher ‘cuz Dad was in the stands. I also remember being told to follow through, mix it up, and just throw strikes. That last one I have heard so many times it will probably be on my gravestone. (Nerd was never a control pitcher). I went to see Nolan Ryan win his 300^th game with my Dad when they were pretty much the same age. I have some great memories involving my Dad and Baseball. He always made me feel like I was the best player on the diamond. And although I might not have always been the best, the fact that I was in his eyes is one of many reasons to love him. Thanks Dad, for being my coach and fan, but my father above all else.

“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," my dad would reply, "we're raising boys." -Harmon Killebrew

I’d also like to send a “Happy Father’s Day” to my Grandfather out in Arizona. Some of my lyrical eloquence is truly a bi-product of his genes, and I thank him. A better Granddad one would be hard-pressed to find.

We actually played some games since my last appearance. We are playing really great ball with some occasional lapses. Unfortunately, those lapses have occurred against Waunakee. Our pitching has been excellent. All expectations have been exceeded and then some. It’s been great to keep score when we trot out pitcher after pitcher and stymie the opposition. Our offense has been a little less consistent. In our 6 wins, we have averaged 9 ½ runs; our two losses – 1 run each. And that’s just Day League. Toss in the whooping at Verona’s expense last week and our run average in wins goes into double figures. We seem to score runs in bunches. As you know, hitting can be contagious, as well as a lack of hitting, and our offensive immune system is highly susceptible to both contagions. We are sitting in a great position in both the Night and Day League standings. All we need now is a good run where the bats get hot and clutch, and the pitching stays strong, and the playoffs will set up in our favor. We have Baraboo this weekend, followed by a huge 4^th of July weekend with games against Cross Plains and Black Earth. Hope to see you at the games!

One last note before we get to the fun stuff. I would like to thank all of you who have made a point to approach me at games, or beer tents and the like, and compliment me on these articles. I am mostly pecking away at this keyboard to appease my own self-imposed feelings of unimportance so it is very comforting to know that there are people out there actually reading the words. Thanks.

The five players who hit better than .390 for a season and failed to win the batting crown that year.

Eighteen pitchers have recorded more than one no-hitter. Of those 18, four have had 3 or more no-hitters. These pitchers are:

The phrase comes from the old-time grocery store where the grocer used a pole or a mechanical grabber to tip an item, such as a can of corn, off a high shelf and let it tumble into his hands or apron, which was held out in front like a fire net.

As promised, this week’s trivia will take a look at Baseball lingo. I will give you several words and phrases. All you need to do is tell me what they mean, and where they came from. Some of these are pretty obvious as to what they mean, but others are of the more archaic variety. Let’s see who knows what.

Southpaw	Eephus
Fungo	Inning
Golden Sombrero	Shortstop
“Foot in the Bucket”	Farm system
Bunt	Rookie
Near-beer Pitcher	Grand Slam

"My only day off is the day I pitch (in regards to how hard he works out during off-days)." – Roger Clemens (in honor of 300 wins)

"In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs." - Bob Uecker

"There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o'clock." - David Bristol, Milwaukee Brewers manager

"They can holler at the uniform all they want, but when they holler at the man wearing the uniform, they're in trouble." - Umpire Joe Brinkman

“Pedro, can you bring me my coat? It’s cold out here.” – Alex Shekey (told you I would mention you Sheek)

No selection for this article but I do want to tell you that the next selection is going to be a good one. I don’t normally decide on whether or not I like a book until I have finished it, but the book I am reading now is definitely one for the Club. Be prepared for a review of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, coming soon.

o Nine Innings, by Daniel Okrent (recently named in the State Journal #1 Baseball book – told you I know my books)

See y’all next time for The Dugout, patriotic-style. Check the Schedule page for game times and locations.

For those of you who would like to say “hello” or “shut up, Nerd” my email address is stephene@chorus.net.

The Dugout (From Nerd’s Perspective)

All right, Dwellers, we have a doozy of an article this time. It is definitely one of the longest yet. Approach it like you would your favorite pie. Although your stomach might want to eat that whole pie the first night, it will undoubtedly leave you feeling bloated and uncomfortable. Plus, you will have no slice for the days and nights to come. So, don’t try to read all this at once; take your time, enjoy it and the experience will be far better. Okay, enough nonsense for now.

Lots of Baseball was played since I spoke to you last. We have won some games, and lost a couple. To try to recount all the events of the past games would most likely take even more pages than this already long article will provide. So I will mention some of the highs and lows that stuck in my brain.

Lowlight number one deals with a loss we suffered at the hands of Sun Prairie. Sometime Dweller Ryan Suchomel plays for SP, and it always leaves a bitter taste to lose to a former teammate. Pitching ace extraordinaire Hoochie-Ma provided the Nerd with some fun bookkeeping. Hooch has been throwing excellent in Night League and it has been a thrill to watch. The 4^th of July supplied some highlights and lowlights. The game during the day was not a good one. We couldn’t muster enough runs to overcome a tough first inning by Ralph Nater to surpass Black Earth. However, the Nerd was proud of the pluck displayed by Ralph to shake off the first and come back and throw strong for four more innings. The night was a blast, pun intended, watching the fireworks at Casa de Pertzborn. It’s great when the guys can get together and match wits exchanging one-liners and impersonations into the wee hours. The last two Sunday games have been beyond excellent. Superb pitching by B-Town coupled with scoring barrages. B flirted with Destiny in Reedsburg, and I don’t mean a dancer at Chubby’s, carrying a no-no into the 7^th. The team holds part of the blame, scoring eight runs in one inning means your pitcher has a long time to wait to get back out there and continue to roll. But even B will tell you, having a cushion of 8, is never a bad thing. Roger has found his stroke, joining the Ya-Ya Sisterhood three times in the past two Sunday games, with a homer thrown in at NBC as well. One of the greatest highlights of all also came in that game at Reedsburg, when all roster players made an appearance, including new pinch-hitting specialist and sausage pugilist Randall Simon. Randy, if it was a home game, Nerd guarantees you that would have been a double. The new young guys have added a spark, and more welcome headaches for Coach Crutch. And Sir Timothy is hitting the snot out of the ball. All in all, great times, great times. The Nerd is pleased.

On a personal note, Mama Nerd was in town a couple of weeks ago. I would like to thank all those who made her and her beau (not you Padfield) feel welcome, especially Randy, Darrell and Yacie. I had a wonderful time when she was here and it was great that she got to see our game, and get the opportunity to put faces to the names she hears about from me and this website. Love you, Mom.

More Baseball is ahead of us, and it is becoming crunch time. Every game is a play-off game, and the intensity is going to be fierce. I can’t wait to roll into the Sectional with the fire and unbeatable ferocity we had last year. I expect to see that hill filled with all you fans. And for the first 5 lucky fans who mention the Theory of Relativity, the beer is on Nerd.

Southpaw – A left-handed pitcher. Derived from the layout of old-time baseball parks. The fields were situated in a way that the sun was not in the batter’s eyes and expensive seat holders. This meant that the pitcher being faced west and a lefty threw with his southern limb.

Fungo – A bat used in infield / outfield practices. There are five theories regarding the origin of “fungo.” Briefly, they are: 1) a combination of “fun” and “go”; 2) the sound it made off an original bat sounded like a ball striking fungus wood; 3) the word fungible, which means something that can be substituted for something else, such as a fungo bat for a real bat; 4) the German fang-en, which means “to catch;” or 5) the Scottish verb “fung” which means “to pitch, toss or fling. I prefer the first.